Teen Sexting - A Criminal Offence

This article in the Guardian was sent to me by a friend who thought I would be interested in what it had to say. In short it is promoting the use of light alcohol consumption during pregnancy based on the results of a study published in the British Journal of Obstetrics and Gynaecology by Kelly et al. 

It states that those who drink low levels of alcohol during pregnancy are no more likely to have childen with behavioural or cognitive problems than those who do not drink alcohol. It even infers that those who consume low levels of alcohol may be better off but as this was not statistically significant they cannot state it - however, they should not even be inferring it and to do so is irresponsible and defeats the purpose of doing statistical analysis. 

However, I ask the question - do we really need research to answer this question? Do we really need to spend money, time and effort to answer a question we all innately know the answer to? 

As far as the human body is concerned, alcohol is a poison, a toxic substance that causes harm to our cells and organs. There is no safe level of alcohol consumption as far as cancer is concerned as previously reported on this blog. If anyone has ever had a hangover, then they too know that the body has been harmed and poisoned by the consumption of alcohol and hence why it fees so rotten. We should only ever need one hangover to know that alcohol is harming to us. Yet we don't listen to the wisdom of our own body - we ignore it, override it, deny it and make all sorts of excuses for carrying on poisioning ourselves: I know, having done it myself many times. Thus I speak from experience of living on both sides - the alcohol consumer and the alcohol abstainer. In doing so, there is no judgment on anyone who chooses to drink alcohol - that would be highly hypocritical to say the least. However, having walked on both sides (or perhaps staggered on one!) I am deeply aware how and why we get trapped by this substance and all the so-called 'norms' around it. 

In light of the over-whelming evidence of the toxicity of alcohol to human cells - why do we even need to consider performing research on the consumption of alcohol during pregnancy? It is a no-brainer that the healthy option is abstinence. A little bit of poison is still poison - energetically it doesn't suddenly become non-toxic just because there is less of it.  If a substance is toxic to a part, it is toxic to the whole - the whole cannot be well, if the part is not well. If it is harming to the Mother, and it is, then it will be harming to the foetus also. We are in deep illusion if we think that we can consume something that is just harmful to a part of us but does not affect the whole of us. 

Indeed, many pregnant women innately know that alcohol is harming and stop drinking during pregnancy. It is interesting to note that whilst they are willing to stop drinking for the health of their child, they were not previously willing to stop for their own health! The love and care for their unborn child exceeds the love and care they have for themselves. It is of course great to expose this and it can lead to great healing opportunities to consider what underlies the desire to numb, harm and poison oneself. In my experience, there are usually hurts and wounds buried within, that we are perhaps in denial of or unwilling to feel - because they hurt! Lack of self-worth, self-loathing, self-hatred can all underlie the persistent need to numb oneself. Not being enough, exhaustion and depletion such that we look for the sugar boost, 'treat' or 'reward' through alcohol may also occur.

We stay away from feeling those hurts and wounds and deeper hidden yucky feelings as part of us feels they are true, that we are not good enough, not lovable, not worthy etc etc. But these are all false, all lies. Esoterically and energetically we are pure love in essence. By connecting with this essence, knowing and accepting it is there, it gives us the space and freedom to feel those unwanted feelings. Freedom comes when we feel and release these buried hurts and wounds and realise we are not those hurts or wounds nor are we defined by them but that underneath all of that gunk there is the amazingness and awesomeness of the Love that we are. Instead of running away from them, we say 'bring it on', let me feel the 'what is not', the 'what I am not' no matter how ugly or horrible it may feel, because, underneath we know without doubt there is a deeper truth; that we are divine and glorious vehicles of Love. 

In my opinion, it is irresponsible to promote or encourage alcohol consumption during pregnancy in any way. Studies have shown that smokers during pregnancy for example have epigenetic effects on the DNA of their children that affects them later in life. The more we come to know about epigenetics, where environmental factors affect genetic expression, I am sure we will find out more and more about how what is consumed during pregnancy affects the genetic expression of the unborn child and causes changes in later life we are not yet aware of.  Whilst there are many useful ways that research may be employed to help mankind and answer as yet unanswered questions - it is not required to answer the question, "is there a safe level of alcohol consumption during pregancy?" The answer is already known - innately in our own bodies and is a simple no. Of course research can help to elucidate the detail of how it harms, the cellular and epigenetic effects for example but let us not kid ourselves that we do not know IF it harms. For those who do need research and do not trust the wisdom of their own body, ponder on this - how can there be no safe level of alcohol consumption when it comes to cancer, yet it can be considered safe in pregnancy?  

Disclaimer: As a medical professional I support the use of scientific research to aid our understanding and unfolding development and this post is not 'anti-research' in general.  This post refers specifically to the question of whether alcohol is safe to consume during pregnancy and I am proposing in this blog that it is not needed to answer the global question of IF it is safe or not, as there is already enough research on the effects of  alcohol in the human being to answer this globally, along with our own innate wisdom. I fully appreciate of course that research can assist us in knowing the details, the pathways, the mechanisms etc by which alcohol harms the human being. 

Feel free to share your experiences or comment on anything this article arises for you. 

This paper by Vincent Felitti describes the effect of Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACE) on adult disease. The ACE study is a long-term in-depth analysis of over 17,000 adult Americans looking at their current health status and the relationship to adverse childhood experiences. 

There is a long list of publications which have detailed various associations between ACE and adult conditions like alcoholism, depression, headaches, liver disease, autoimmune disease, obesity, lung cancer and COPD. Felitti states that 'much of what is recognised as common in adult medicine is the result of what is not recognised in childhood.' Furthermore, the ACE study shows a powerful relationship between emotional experiences in childhood and mental and physical wellbeing as adults. It documents the conversion of traumatic emotional childhood experiences into organic disease in adult life.

This study and the multiple papers and outcomes produced from it give weight to the understanding that our biography becomes our biology. In other words, life experiences can and do influence health and wellbeing much more than we have previously realised. It also affirms that the emotions and emotional experiences have a significant role to play in the manifestation of illness and disease and this can occur over a long period of time. Childhood events that might be seemingly forgotten or dealt with are often still internal festering wounds wreaking havoc on the mental and physical welbeing of an individual over time.

Whilst the internal mechanisms have yet to be fully elucidated, the fields of psychoneuroimmunology(PNI)  and psychosomatic medicine and epigenetics are beginning to do just that. PNI shows how emotions/thoughts can affect the immune system, leading to inflammation and inflammation is a key process in the aetiology of many diseases, with a list that seems to be ever-increasing. In addition to the obvious inflammatory conditions like arthritis, colitis, cystitis, or any -itis, inflammation is also indicated in the aetiology of depression, cancer, diabetes and heart disease. Epigenetics is a field that looks at how the expression of genes can be affected by internal and external environmental factors and some preliminary work in prostate cancer by Dean Ornish has shown favourable epigenetic changes by altering diet and lifestyle. 

Esoterically and energetically, the emotions are known to be harming to one's physical and mental wellbeing and these studies are providing the research evidence that supports this understanding. Medicine often looks at the external symptoms and disease and works backward to find out how it arose. The esoteric comes from a different perspective of knowing what the true nature of the body is energetically, (love) and then identifying what is not that that has resulted in the physical disease. The body lives all our experiences, it is with us in every moment of every day, eveything we do with and to the body affects the body energetically - there is no escape from that. When we are aggressive, rough, hard, angry, full of rage etc all of that is detrimental to the body and if persistent over time will lead to illness and disease or other forms of suffering. However, there is also a way to live that engenders true wellbeing and vitality, being self-caring and gentle with oneself and all others. The more we take true care of the body in every activity, from eating, sleeping, working, exercise etc then that will pay rewards in our physical health and wellbeing. 

So what is it that prevents us from taking care of ourselves? The ACE study looked at quite gross examples of abuse and neglect in their different categories. It looked at 8 categories of childhood abuse and household dysfunction. The abuse categories were recurrent physical and  recurrent emotional abuse and sexual abuse. The categories of household dysfunction were growing up in a household where someone was in prison; where the mother was treated violently; in presence of alcoholic or drug user; where someone was chronically depressed, mentally ill or suicidal and where one parent was lost to the child regardless of cause. The higher the number of ACE events the greater the impact on adult disease in later life. 

However, from an esoteric perspective, it is not just gross examples of abuse and neglect that are detrimental. When one realises and knows the stupendous love that we come from and which we are, it becomes obvious how much more seemingly minor events can still have significant detrimental consequences on one's longterm physical health and wellbeing. It is part and parcel of the universal human condition that we do not get met and seen for the love that we are, that we all experience to one degree or another events that are not loving even if they are not what many would consider abusive. But perhaps we need to re-look at what we consider abusive? We are used to reserving that word for extremes of behaviour, that no-one would dispute are abusive. However, from an energetic perspective, anything that is not loving is harming energetically whether we realise it or not and perhaps we need to lower the bar on what is considered abusive so that we can call it out and say no, that behaviour is not acceptable. Ultimately it is a lack of love for oneself that prevents one from taking true care of oneself. As a consequence of ACE we develop misbeliefs about ourselves that we are not good enough, not worthy, not lovable etc etc and these feed a multitude of behaviours that can range from poisioning oneself with alcohol to striving to be the top in the field so as not to feel the inner emptiness, worthlessness and discontent. 

I use to be dismissive of people who undertook self-development work, with the arrogant attitude of 'just get on with it and there's no need for all that naval gazing.' I would have dismissed out of hand the effect of emotions and childhood experiences on adult disease later in life - attributing it to the virus, the gene, the toxin or some external factor. And I would have guffawed loudly at the idea that illness and disease is in some way related to a lack of love for oneself - as I can imagine many in the medical profession would also do. However, life has taught me otherwise and humbled my arrogance. I have no doubt my own self-destructive behaviours arose out of the lack of love for myself following ACE, yet I don't tick many of the boxes. Another way of expressing that is that they arose out of the deep self-loathing and disregard for myself following ACE. It is great to have the ACE study and the results it brings demonstrating the links between adverse emotional childhood experiences and adult disease in later life. However, for me there is much more to be uncovered in this field. As alluded to this does not just apply to gross examples of abuse, but to all kinds of what might be called every-day events that are not loving, that affect the being detrimentally. 

However, I have since come to know that despite any ACE, healing is possible by re-connecting to the love that lives within, where it is known that no trauma or abuse of any kind can impact, destroy or affect that love. By living from that love, I have become self-caring instead of self-destructive, self-loving instead of self-abusive. It continues to be a daily work in progress as I continue to deepen for myself what it really means to be self-caring. Of course in order to truly care for another, one must be able to care for oneself if any true care is to be provided. So the more I deepen the care for myself, the more I am able to care for others.

The re-introduction of love (which is not the same as emotional love) back into medicine has predictably a long road ahead of it. However, given the current health dilemmas around the world, with the rise in obesity, diabetes, mental ill health to name a few, despite all that modern medicine and science has to offer, must surely get people thinking - what is missing?? What is missing from our understanding of the human person with respect to illness and  disease, that were it not missing, everything would be seen and understood differently? That missing ingredient is Love - as the saying goes, 'don't knock it 'til you've tried it.' Or perhaps to all those who would knock it, according to Einstein, "condemnation without investigation is the height of ignorance". 

Feel free to share your experiences or how childhood events have impacted your wellbeing as an adult or anything else you feel to share. 

This blog was published on the Medicine and Serge Benhayon blog but I felt to share it here also.  

A simple observation highlights to me the importance of the difference between what we feel and what we think, particularly when it comes to health. The world we live in gives precedence to the intelligence of the mind and/or the brain without taking full cognisance of the intelligence of the body. Thinking and thoughts are associated with the mind/brain and much weight is given to the acquisition of knowledge and information and the cognitive disciplines in education and professional life. In contrast, feelings are often dismissed or ignored or over-ridden. They may be negatively associated with emotions or a so-called ‘emotional person’ or someone being too ‘touchy feely’ as opposed to the rational, logical thinker.  Certainly as a child I was lead to believe that feelings were somewhat irrelevant; I was not encouraged to express what I felt but instead learned the opposite. I thought it was good to be the ‘strong silent’ type who didn’t disclose feelings or personal matters. Everything was always ‘fine’ no matter what was really going on.

Whilst thoughts may appear to arise in the mind, feelings come from the body and are the language of the intelligence of the body. When I do a ward round in the morning, I ask patients “How are you feeling?”not  “What are you thinking?” if I want to know what is going on for them and their wellbeing.

This simple observation clarifies that if we want to know the truth of what is going on in the body and in someone’s health, we ask about how he/she is feeling and respond accordingly.  True intelligence is embodied and feelings are the conveyors of that intelligence.

Yet so little importance is really given to understanding the feeling realm within medicine. Medical training itself is a good way to learn how to ignore and over-ride one’s feelings; we often end up using food, alcohol or excess work to numb ourselves and not feel what is really going on. The onslaught of medical training, the hours of work, the vast amounts of material to be learned, having to deal with exposure to high levels of suffering and trauma of various kinds, results in people hardening to be able to cope. Yet it is a false coping mechanism that leads to over-worked, cynical, burnt-out doctors who have difficulty caring for themselves, never mind their patients.

To provide true care for another we must first provide that care in equal measure to ourselves.

This means listening to and honouring our own feelings about how we feel, being aware of when we are over-working and becoming exhausted. It means taking the time to get a good night’s sleep, to eat healthy nourishing food and to be emotionally aware so that we are not dumping our undealt with anger /rage / aggression /sadness etc on our fellow colleagues and patients.  I rather ignorantly and arrogantly use to think that my angry outbursts were just part of who I was – that I was made that way and people could ‘like it or lump it,' not realizing that I could take steps to address the root cause of that anger – which had nothing to do with the situation at hand.

I have found that the ability to truly care for myself is something that deepens the more I live it and that there is much more to it than I ever imagined. Indeed, some of my preconceived ideas about what it means to be self-caring have been challenged. For example, there is the general belief that exercise is good for the body irrespective of the nature of the exercise and I have come to realize that aggressive forms of exercise, that push my body harder and harder, are not actually good for it.

Furthermore, I have discovered that the more I truly care for myself, the more I am able to care, both for others and myself. I have also become aware that there are a myriad of ways that can interfere with my ability to care for myself due to my engrained ways of living – yet I know I always have the power to choose that which is truly caring or not. It always seemed easier to care for others than it did myself and indeed some would consider putting others before oneself is the way to live. Alas, that does not lead to true care, for to know what true care is, it must be lived by oneself and then it becomes but a natural expression of who one is and an equality of care is then delivered to all.

Feel free to share your own experiences or comment on anything else that relates to this blog.

The recent attacks by leaders of the Catholic Church against gay marriage do nothing to enhance the reputation of the church. It only confirms it as being out-dated, out of touch, ignorant, narrow-minded and above all unrepresentative of the true teachings of the Christ. No wonder more pews are empty as people vote with their feet and abandon these archaic institutions that seem to be detached from both the real world we live in and moreso the Love of God they claim to represent.

The Archbishop of Westminster, Vincent Nicholls has been decrying the government process to establishing gay marriage rights and says that from a ‘democratic point of view, it’s a shambles’. How ironic. The people of this country elected the government in a democratic process open to all; how does this compare to the leadership of the Roman Catholic Church? Was the Pope elected in a democratic process that was open to all members of the Church? No. Yet the same leadership feels it can run its affairs in a cloak of secrecy and be above the law of the land, covering up child abuse stories, moving child abusers from one diocese to another, getting children to swear oaths of silence on these matters or face excommunication. The latter discipline of the Church is reserved for those supporting women in the priesthood, deemed a far graver crime than those abusing young children who just get a slap on the wrist (if that) and a new location. This undemocratically elected leadership has cost lives through its previous ban of condoms in countries where HIV is rife.  That decision has since been revised but it is too little, too late for many. And the list could go on of the ways that the Roman Catholic Church dictate to others what is and what is not acceptable behavior (with no democratic process whatsoever), whilst clearly needing to put its own house in order first. It is audacious to say the least that a Roman Catholic Archbishop should then take a stand on gay marriage and accuse the government of an undemocratic process when it dogmatically dictates to others on the ways of God whilst displaying behaviours and attitudes that are far removed from those ways.

The Bishop of Shrewsbury, Mark Davies, even went so far as to compare gay marriage to Nazism and Nazi attacks on religion – a preposterous, ludicrous and deeply offensive suggestion. He feels that the 'sanctity of human life' is under threat by gay marriage. Does anyone other than Catholic Bishops and those indoctrinated by such nonsense, really believe this to be true? He states that the government pledged to support the institution of marriage and seems to think they are now failing in this, whereas I would say they are fully supporting marriage by making it open to all people, equally so. 

It demonstrates how far removed from the message of Christ the RCC is, when at Christ-mas time, the season of Goodwill towards All Men, they have chosen to deliver a message that is far from Goodwill towards All Men and instead perpetuates the homophobic attitudes that permeate the Church. In the same article, the Pope is quoted as saying in his Christmas address that gay marriage was ‘destroying the very essence of the human creature’ and in a different article he has also been quoted as stating that gay marriage is a ‘crisis’ that threatens ‘Western Society’. He reveals his ignorance of homosexuality by saying that it is man 'denying' his true nature - when it is the opposite; it is people living, honouring and expressing their true nature. To suggest otherwise is deeply harming.  Also disturbing is his assertion that children raised by a gay couple would be mere ‘objects’ rather than individuals. This is all shocking.  I find it totally abhorrent that someone who sets himself up as the purveyor of the Word of God can say things that are so, so contra to the true word and Love of God. It's time to say Enough! Indeed the time is well gone, and we as a humanity have allowed religious leaders to get away with all sorts of misdemenaours, hate speech under the guise of theological interpretation, separative ideologies and an endless list of acts and words that have only perpetuated man's inhumanity to man and done little to bring true harmony and wellbeing to all people everywhere. The time for silent obedience is long gone. 

I have previously written about gay marriage and why it is defying Christ to be against it and also how marriage is about the commitment to be love with another person and is therefore equally valid for gay people as heterosexual people. Marriage is not for the sole purpose of having children – there are many married couples who for one reason or another, do not have children – is their marriage a threat to Western Society as well? Of course not. Savi Hensman describes the Pope's arguments as weak and also out of keeping with the message of Christmas.  The point is made that if the Pope is so pro-family and male/female being the only way why do they persist with the celibate priesthood – according to the Pope's own argument surely that too would be going against God?

To claim that gay marriage will somehow destroy the institution of marriage is without any just argument. Giving gay people the equal right to marriage does not in any way, shape or form affect the marriage of heterosexual people. How could it? It might be stating the obvious but gay people want to marry other gay people.....not straight people. The institution of marriage for heterosexual couples will continue as it is today. It will be no less for allowing gay marriage - indeed it will be enhanced. Giving people the equal right to express their commitment to love is beneficial for all, not just the couple involved. Heterosexual couples will continue to marry and have children – they are not suddenly all going to decide to become gay and here endeth the birth of all children – which I know is ridiculous but it seems like this is what the Pope and the religious institutions fear. All of which is borne out of ignorance regarding the true nature of the human person, heterosexuality and homosexuality. To suggest that the very essence of what it is to be human is under threat by gay marriage only reveals to me the Pope's lack of awareness regarding the true nature of the human being. For one's essence or true nature cannot be damaged in any way by anything - it is that part that is love eternal. Indeed, it could be said that endorsing gay marriage is enabling full expression of one's essence - by expressing the commitment to be love with another and is definitely in no way harming to one's essence.   

Whilst people may put forward so called religious arguments for why gay marriage should be prevented, there is in-truth no true religious (in the true meaning of that word) argument against gay marriage. Religion is about relationship......relationship with oneself and with God. The foundation of this relationship is love and from there all other relationships are formed, or not, as the case may be. How we relate to, understand and love ourselves has enormous impact on how we treat, understand and love other people.  For me, a deeply religious person is someone who loves deeply, loves equally, without reservation or constraint, without judgement and shoulds or musts. They love all because they ARE love and they cannot stop being what they are - indeed that is true for all of us, we all are love and we cannot stop being that but we can stop expressing it, we can express in a way that is not loving, that is judgemental, that promotes separation rather than unification. The churches and various religions in general have excelled in promoting separation......it's my way or the highway, follow this path or else.....goes the recurrent dogma. People cling onto beliefs of one kind or another because it's been written in a book 2000 years ago without even discerning the validity of what is written.

The Church as an institution is, in my opinion, separated from the true message of God and Christ, which is a message of equal love for all, and that that love resides in all. This separation is reflected in the attitudes and behaviours of many of the religious leaders as evidenced in these recent attacks on gay marriage which have no true foundation and where they espouse views that only reveal the depth of this separation from Love and from God. It is reflected in the persistence of patriarchal views that aim to keep women out of the priesthood and religious leadership roles. However, that said, the leader of the Anglican church, Archbishop Rowan Williams, recognises that the failure to vote through women bishops has left his church with much work to do to repair its image, to improve its creditability in the eyes of many. Whilst many Anglican church leaders did vote in support of women bishops it was the laity that stopped it - but where did the laity get their beliefs and opinions from originally? It is also reflected in the patriarchal views that a group of men think they have the right to dictate what women can do with their own bodies. That somehow women are not capable of deciding for themselves and making a choice that is true for them or if they do, they have to be seen as unstable or in some way mentally or emotionally weak or incapacitated. The very idea that a woman could be empowered enough to consciously choose to terminate a pregnancy is beyond their grasp. This debate is of course far from over and the point being made here is the influence of patriarchal religious views that aim to keep women out of the equation and out of the discussion about something that is very much a woman's choice.

The arguments in favour of the attacks on gay marriage and the prevention of women bishops and/or priests may all be clouded over with religious rhetoric of one kind or another in an attempt to justify them but at heart they all come down to this......a lack of true heart that knows that all are equal. They stink of rife inequality and a 'we are superior' attitude that permeates so much of religious teaching, the hangover of centuries of patriarchal domination and indoctrination - to the extent that there are even women who support the ludicrous idea that only men can be priests or religious leaders! Whereas a true heart, a heart that is perfused with the Love of God, knows without doubt that all are equal and from that equality there is absolutely no argument against women bishops or gay marriage - it is that simple. All arguments are fluff, blust and blunder behind which lies fear, ignorance and rank inequality borne out of centuries of indoctrination in falsehoods.

So yes, the Church keeps on inserting nails into its own coffin......whether it's the Catholic Church or the Anglican Church, or An-other Church, the names may differ but the flavour and the underlying issues are the same. People are now better educated, able to think and feel for themselves whether what is being espoused makes sense in today's world and to their own experience and conscience. Not only that but many are coming to know for themselves that the true guide is in their own heart and by listening to the wisdom of Love that resides there it is known that the lies and falsehoods of teachings that promote separation or inequality in any way do not come from Love or from God. To be critical of the Church does not equate with criticism of all those in the Church and I am well aware that there are many people within the church who live from their hearts and who are open to and supportive of gay marriage and leadership roles for women in the church, who live lives inspired by the Love of God and Christ and who recognise the equality of all. However, the church no longer enjoys the unquestioning adulation of yester-year - it has to wake up, measure up and wise up if it is to appeal to people who are no longer prepared to be told how it is and who are able to think and feel for themselves what is true and what is not. The Church ignores the wisdom of its people at its own peril - the number of nails it keeps hammering into its own coffin only seems to be rising and a radical change from outdated theological dogma to open hearted appreciation of all people everywhere would be required to change its trajectory. However, to accept the latter would ultimately dissolve the dictatorial power of the church and I feel it is unlikely to render that to the altar just yet....

Feel free to share your views or comment on anything that this post has brought up for you.