Teen Sexting - A Criminal Offence

02 Oct

This report states that both young men and women experience peer pressure to share sexual images of themselves in the phenomenon known as 'Sexting'. The study highlighted the pressure young people experienced from their peers to engage in sexting and the importance of their voice in developing ways to prevent and deal with the problem.  

Boys can be ostracised by their peers or called 'gay' if they fail to participate and show their friends images of girls on their phone or computer. Girls also feel under pressure to share images of themselves, especially if they have also viewed images of girls they know. A US survey found over 51% of girls had sent sexy images or messages as a result of pressure from a guy. 

However, this is not just harmless fun between teenagers. Some young people have been charged with child pornography (in 2007, 32 teens in Victoria, Aus were charged with child pornography offences) and placed on the sex offenders list for having explicit photos of young teens on their phone or computer. It is illegal to have a naked or semi-naked photo of someone under 18 on your phone or computer, to forward it to someone else and you can be charged even if the photo is of yourself and you agree to it being sent. Most young people are probably unaware of this and that a pressing 'send' could have devastating consequences for them and their lives. 

What may have started out as an exchange between two people can end up being shared between many at a school or even worse on the internet, with some even making their way onto porn sites. One girl's images ended up being shared around local schools and she was harassed, called names and bullied thereafter resulting in her commiting suicide. 

Young people are under pressure to fit in with the group, to do what their peers do so as they are not ostracised, excluded, teased, made fun of or laughed at etc. It can be a very powerful force that seems to make people do things against their better judgment and which if left to their own devices they may not choose to do. They may feel that it is not right for them, that they are not really comfortable with it and yet they feel forced or compelled to go along with it.

It takes a strong teenager to be able to say no to peer pressure, someone who has the self respect and self honouring to listen to what they truly feel and follow that - rather than the external pressure to conform. Perhaps the best thing we could teach young people would be to listen to what they really feel and to honour that, to be able to say no and stick with it. To know that even if that meant losing a few so called 'friends' that would not be the end of the world - for a true friend would respect your choice and not force you to do something against your will. 

There is of course more to the underlying reasons that young people engage in sexting. It is a way of seeking intimacy without actually forming an intimate relationship, without taking the risks that would potentially involve of being rejected or getting hurt. The desire to avoid being hurt or rejected can lead people into all sorts of difficulties when it comes to relationships - something perhaps many of us can relate to in one way or another.

However, imagine if we instead empowered young people to feel and know first not just that they are worth loving but that they are in fact love and to honour that by being self-loving, self-honouring, self-respecting. In that way they can feel for themselves the true harm of sexting and that it is coming from an emptiness and the seeking of love, affection and intimacy but in a way that is not true.  The more they realise, know and live that they are love, the more they will be open to forming an intimate relationship with another who is also self-respecting, self-honouring and self-loving. 

However, it is not just about teaching it but living it - not just talking the talk but walking the talk.  Thus a more powerful way for young people to learn from parents, teachers, relatives etc  is by how we treat them, how we are with them, by how we listen and respond to them, whether we truly see and 'meet' them, respect them or ignore them, dismiss them, talk down to them etc. It is for each of us to live in a self-loving, self-caring way ourselves and to offer that way of being to young people by reflection that they may choose it for themselves. 

Feel free to share your comments or insights re teen sexting.

Recent Posts

20 Sep

Resilience - Friend or Foe?..

This blog was first published on Action for NHS Wellbeing site on 6th September 2015. Resilience is currently very topical so I felt to share it here as well. 


Resilience is the latest buzz word and emotional resilience training is the new ‘must have’ for those who are trained to kill, fight and go to war as well as those who are trained to save lives, heal and care for sick.  Indeed, based on the fact that the Army now incorporates emotional resilience training before it goes to combat and war, the head of the GMC has decreed this is to be incorporated into medical training – before we go to battle in the NHS! Although it might feel like we are going to war or battle in the NHS, and thus need an armour to protect us, is the resilience training provided to those who are trained to shoot and kill really what is needed for those in a healing profession where compassion, care, gentleness and kindness are the qualities most sought after by patients?

Is it possible that we are missing something about what it is to be human, something that were it to be known would transform our whole understanding of resilience?

What is resilience?

Resilience has been defined as:

1)   the capacity to recover quickly from difficulties: toughness

2)   the ability of a substance or object to spring back into shape; elasticity, flexibility, suppleness, springiness, give, durability, strength, sturdiness, toughness

3)   strength of character – strength, toughness, hardiness, adaptability, buoyancy, flexibility, ability to bounce back

4)   the power or ability to return to the original form, position etc after being compressed, bent, stretched; elasticity

5)   ability to recover readily from illness, depression, adversity or the like; buoyancy.

Even within these definitions there appears to be an inherent flaw, a paradox within the qualities of what it is to be resilient that can create confusion, misunderstanding and a form of resilience that is not truly healthy. For example, I used to believe that by being strong and tough I was being resilient and could face anything that the world had to throw at me. I had my armour on and I went to battle and had no problems being argumentative, demanding, controlling, standing my ground, as it was all done in the name of providing good patient care. My outer toughness was mirrored by an inner hardness, where I was self-critical, inflexible and stubborn. I didn’t bounce back so much as bulldoze my way through life – protected as I thought by the mighty armour of protection I had built around me, not letting anyone in – in order to be sure I would not get hurt by anyone or anything.

This form of resilience, of being tough, strong and sucking up whatever life serves is not a true or healthy form of resilience – indeed it is deeply harming for our bodies, particularly our hearts. It is a false form of resilience that is built and established to protect us from being hurt in one way or another. By becoming tough and hard, I shut down my ability to truly feel and recognise what I was feeling and I used alcohol to numb myself as well!

The thing is that as human beings we are designed to FEEL everything, we cannot stop feeling everything even though we have a myriad of ways that we use to dull, deny, numb, block, dismiss, over-ride, ignore and disregard what we are feeling. We are in fact by nature highly sensitive beings – all of us – and we cannot stop that sensitivity. It is innate. Perhaps this is the missing ingredient that can transform our understanding of resilience? 

Consider the possibility that it is because we are so, so sensitive and feel everything, that we get hurt when young and because we don’t know nor have the skills to deal with those hurts effectively, we start to shut down our sensitivity, to toughen-up, harden, put on the armour and become resilient! YIKES! But it is a false form of resilience – one that eventually has to crack either through physical illness and disease, mental ill health, an incident or accident of some sort.

For me it was an existential crisis mixed in with a dose of burnout topped off with a splash of alcohol misuse that brought me to a stop and to question EVERYTHING about how I was living. The outer toughness and the inner hardness had to be cracked open, I had to address the inner beliefs I held about myself that were feeding these processes and the undealt with hurts that fed everything.

But underneath all of that I was assisted to discover something amazing – that there was a part inside me that had been unaffected by any of those hurt-full experiences, a part that was still pure and pristine, shining and glowing, a part that was whole and complete irrespective of the story I told. The more I connected with this part, my innermost, the more solid and truly strong and steady I became. I was able to see and feel those hurts and heal them, to see them for what they were, and to know they were not who I am nor do they define me. I became more willing to feel what was there to be felt instead of burying it, numbing it, dismissing it, overriding it – in the knowing that feeling it was the key to healing it. I began to take things less personally, to not take on other people’s stuff  (it’s enough dealing with our own!) and to also accept my part in what had played out in my life and take responsibility for it. 

I started to feel the harm of emotions like anger, rage and frustration in my own body and to understand the underlying reasons for their presence so that I could address them and I consciously chose to develop a more centred, a more still, less emotional way of being – one that was connected to my innermost, that cared for and nurtured my body through going to bed early, being aware of the food and drink I consumed and their effects on my body and exercising gently. 

I discovered (with help) that there is a true and healthy form of resilience – one that comes from knowing who we are, from being open to, acknowledging and honouring our sensitivity, to being willing to feel everything and to listening to what we feel such that we trust the intelligence of our body to reveal what is really going on.

And so I have come to deeply know that resilience is not about toughening up and sucking up whatever comes our way; it comes through the practice of observing life and people rather than absorbing their issues, by knowing oneself deeply, being prepared to feel whatever is there to be felt without bottling it up, burying it etc, understanding that there is always a bigger picture and allowing it to be what it is whilst always endeavouring to live with a high degree of personal responsibility and integrity in the knowing that all choices have consequences as well as developing a deep regard and respect for self that means any abusive or bullying behaviour towards oneself is not accepted nor tolerated. 

Bullying is pervasive in the NHS – resilience training should not be about enabling us to cope better with bullying behaviour or any other toxic practices so that they may continue! Instead true resilience empowers us to speak up and out about such practices, for we know and can feel the deep harm they cause to all the individuals involved and the wider environment and culture.

When we are connected to our innermost, to that place of love, stillness and greatness that is within all, we know on a certain level we are invincible, that emotions are toxic fuel for the body, that no matter what adversity or strife comes before us, there is always a bigger picture, one that is endeavouring to waken us up out of our deep and stupefying slumbers to realise we are so much more than we ever imagined we could be. Thus we can develop a resilience that is healthy, empowering and renders us fit for life whatever that life may entail. One where we know that even if we lose it or get affected by something – there is still an unshakeable core that does not need to bounce back because it never truly left.  We experience the need to ‘bounce back’ because we left our core, our essence and how quickly we do this is currently a measure of how resilient we are.

But what if true resilience meant there was no or very little bouncing back at all because we are so solid in living from the absoluteness of who we are, that we have all the true strength and courage to do what we need to do? Not only that but rather than doing it with the tough bulldozer approach we appreciate the true strength that resides in openness, delicateness, tenderness and fragility, where we know the best protection of all comes from letting people in, feeling everything and being who we truly are.   Any form of resilience training that does not first show you how to connect to who you are, to know who you are, will ultimately be another band-aid, a temporary fix, a solution of sorts, that does not bring any true healing or lasting answers.

The world does not need more quick-fixes, more solutions, more band-aids; it needs answers based on the truth of who we are – a truth that comes with a beauty, a majesty, and the glorious freedom of divine responsibility, where resilience is our natural, innate friend and not our manufactured foe. 

Reseliance - Friend or Foe?

I totally agree with you Eunice. The last thing this world needs is more quick fixes. There truly is another way to live. I also grew up carrying my hurts and because of this shut down and was determined not to let love in or out. However, just recently I came across Universal Medicine and many of the wonderful healing modalities they offer and my life has truly taken a turn for the better. I now recognise my tenderness and the strength that this carries and also more easily see the beauty in others. I am now much more commited to life and after 3 years of unemployment due to psychosis and depression, I have found employment and I am now in a role just 20 minutes walk from my house, paying a great salary in a job that I love with lovely, sociable people. I recently bumped into a friend I hadn't seen for about 2 years and he was amazed at the change in how I looked and could not get over the fact that I was back in full-time employment, as things were looking quite bad on that front for me. It's truly amazing!

This is such a perfectly

This is such a perfectly timed read for me. Learning to stay with my innate tenderness and super sensitivity can be challenging at times as there are often hurts which are exposed which have led to reactions many times before. Being aware of these before they happen enables me to stay with the feeling of tenderness and sensitivity, recognise the hurt and not react to it therefore developing a true form of resilience through re-imprinting my choice to stay with me. Thank you Eunice.


What a beautiful article Eunice. How could we possibly foster the ideals and beliefs that by toughening up ourselves, that we are better able to deal with life. Of course it hurts when people do bully you, of course it hurts when you loose a friend or collegae in war, of course it hurts when people yell to us. Anyone who denies this, isn't honest. The way it affects us, differs. In the end we could say that the people who are more open, sensitive, understanding, accepting and allowing are generally less affected than the ones who has chosen to toughen up. Within our hearts, we're beautiful, deeply sensitive and sacred beings. We are to learn this as a part of all our training, including resilience training. Thank you Eunice!

An inspiring article Eunice.

An inspiring article Eunice. True resilience is to be and live the love of the inner-heart.
15 Aug

#ILookLikeASurgeon – Surgery is what I do, not who I am...

Over the last few days the hashtag #ILookLikeASurgeon has been trending on twitter and has sparked interest across the globe. It originated when a female engineer @IsisAnchalee was told she didn’t look like an engineer and started the hashtag #ILookLikeAnEngineer. This was followed by a female surgical resident Dr Heather Logghe suggesting that #ILookLikeASurgeon might be next and sure enough the twitter world responded. Female surgeons from America, UK, Australia, Europe and elsewhere posted their photo claiming that they ‘look like a surgeon’ – because they are surgeons – celebrating the diversity of surgeons and smashing the gender stereotype.

So many female surgeons have been told they “don’t look like a surgeon”  - so obviously there is some image of what a surgeon is supposed to look like that has been emblazoned onto the minds of the populace and that still reigns supreme. Of course once upon a time….. ALL surgeons were men  – and so clearly ANY woman is not going to fulfill that image – even though some of us may have tried to emulate those manly traits that inhabit the patriarchal stereotype of ‘the surgeon’. Indeed even if we succeeded in adopting those traits and acted accordingly we still did not look like men – so no matter how hard we tried, we could never fit the bill of ‘looking like a surgeon’ even though we already were!  Could it be as simple as that? Could it be that no matter what a woman did or said, she would never be considered to ‘look like a surgeon’ simply because she isn’t a man and doesn’t possess the necessary anatomy, even if she did have the ballsy attitude?

Of course the stereotype is not just a man – it is a man in a pin stripe suit, an arrogant man who holds court in the ward or operating theatre and who can instill fear into the heart of nurses, junior doctors and students with just a look or a word, who assumes the all powerful status of being the one to tell you exactly how it is, no matter who you are (patient or staff) and whom no-one dared to question or counter. A man who commanded and controlled, who was an authoritarian dictator, who battled night and day to save lives and who was both given and assumed a God-like status. Of course this God-like status was the false God of the authoritarian dictator who could do and say whatever he liked irrespective of the effect on others and who bears no resemblance whatsoever to God in truth.  He is the surgeon of films and tv shows that perpetuate the stereotype – and so no wonder female surgeons are oft frequented with ‘you don’t look like a surgeon’ – and we never will whilst that stereotype dominates the consciousness. Of course I have to add that there are lots of male surgeons who do not fit this stereotype either thankfully! But certainly this image that to be a surgeon one must be a man is one that needs to be and is definitely worth smashing – and the twitter storm of beautiful faces is doing just that! 

I know from personal experience it is definitely possible to adopt the stereotypical patriarchal  traits of “the surgeon” – someone who is arrogant, superior, hard, tough, demanding, takes no prisoners, does not suffer fools, who prides themselves on the long hours they work, who gives orders and expects them to be obeyed without question or counter and who in many cases had more balls than the men and whose ruthlessness and aggression was justified by it all being done in the name of providing good care for the patient.  I lived that stereotype for many years. Stamina was my middle name. My identity and sense of self-worth was wrapped up in being a surgeon – it gave me power over others, commanded a certain respect because of my profession and was a key part of my identity. I prided myself on being tough and hard, strong and in control – I thought it was a good way to be, that that was what was needed to be a good surgeon.

However, since those days much has changed, especially my relationship with myself and from there my relationship with others and my work. I have discovered much about myself and why I was the way I was and what was underlying those ill-behaviours. The way that I am with myself and with others has completely changed – I am no longer the tough nosed, hard, domineering surgeon of days gone past. My sense of self-worth and my identity no longer come from being a surgeon – surgery is what I do, but it is not who I am. So who am I?

Who I am is purely and simply love – love is the essence of my being (and everyone else’s) and surgery is one of the ways that I get to express the love that I am through what I do. If we need two little letters in front of our name (Dr) or a list of qualifications after our name to feel better about ourselves, then we can be sure that our sense of self-worth is derived from things that are outside of ourselves, by measures that society have deemed are what makes us a good person, a worthy person – rather than coming from the innate divinity that rests within. When we have the latter as our foundation then outer identfiers are seen for the false pillars they are and more importantly we have an inner strength that is true and indomitable.

When we are dependent on the outer recognition we can be easily offended when people do not give us the recognition we are seeking – hence why some female doctors or surgeons can be offended when they are called ‘nurse’ by patients – as all their years of hard slog to be a doctor or surgeon is not being recognized. When we feel that we are somehow superior or better than another just because we have studied longer or harder – we are in deep, deep illusion. For when we know who we are, it doesn’t really matter what people call us, as our sense of self is not dependent on the outer – there is an inner unshakeable knowing that who you are cannot be offended by any labels or identifiers that are not true.

We come to know that before any role or job title we are people first and foremost – whether that’s a nurse, doctor, surgeon, dentist, accountant, hairdresser or carpenter – these are all what we do for a living but they are not who we are. The truth of who we are is so much grander than any role we play or adopt. We also know that there is true equality – that no-one is more worthy or less worthy – for all are love in essence, even though we may not all be expressing that love! To be mistakenly called a nurse is no sleight nor should it cause offence – and those that are offended have a shaky self-esteem built on outer pillars that can crumble to dust. Personally I have nurses in my family and some of my best friends are nurses and of course many are work colleagues – they are hard-working professionals who care deeply about people – but before all of that they are people whose essence is love and worthy of respect without needing to do anything, as we all are. 

People like to be accorded their appropriate names and titles and it’s a part of how we work in current day healthcare and there is no problem with that provided the equality of all is recognized first – but that is not what happens. People use their job titles to have power over another, to bully and abuse and so we have a healthcare environment that is not actually very caring. But imagine what it would be like if we treated each other as people first, people who are love, and not our job titles? Is it possible that could annihilate the medical hierarchy and level the playing field in a way that was beneficial for all? No more power plays and struggles – just people helping people, collaborating instead of competing, working harmoniously together instead of fighting and arguing creating disharmony, stress, and tension; where the most junior person in terms of professional rank feels equal and valued in person to the most senior in rank and can express accordingly? Surely that would be a healthcare service and environment worth providing?

It may be stating the obvious but we are women before we are surgeons – we were born female but we did not come with a scalpel in our hands from the womb. Where I and many others have made a mistake is thinking that we needed to be like the men to play in what was their assumed territory – instead of connecting with and bringing to surgery the qualities of the true woman.

A true woman is someone who is comfortable in her own skin, who does not need to put on any face or mask, who does not need to pretend to be something she is not, who is natural and at ease, steady and consistent, who can be tender and nurturing as well as strong and firm, who does not suffer any abuse, she is not emotionally driven and neither is she scared of her own vulnerability and fragility; she is a woman who cares deeply both for herself and others and who beholds all equally with the same quality of love. Now there is a Godly way to be! The true woman lives within all women for that is what we are – they are innate qualities that we can connect with and live from and bring to all that we do. In this way we can truly claim #ILookLikeASurgeon and surgery is what I do, not who I am – for who I am is so much more. When we bring the truth of who we are to what we do – then the true magic begins and the magic of God is known.


I have been blessed to learn about life, love, God and the human condition from Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine and through applying the teachings in my life, I continue to unfold and deepen my own connection to the true woman within me and bring that to all that I do to the best of my ability and definitely without perfection! But they say a picture is worth a thousand words and that the camera never lies – so I posted pictures on my twitter feed as a surgeon before and after applying these teachings and you can see for yourself if you feel there is a difference.( or click on the links below)

For me now it is a no-brainer – living the love we are is the key to true health, wellbeing and to being a surgeon….without needing that identifier to feel worthy or better about myself for it is not who I am, it is what I do.


I am


No hurt nor wound,

No illness nor disease,

No word nor deed,

Can alter that

Immutable fact,

I am



Eunice J Minford ©


Surgeon before Universal Medicine 


Surgeon after Universal Medicine 

I Love this Eunice, you share

I Love this Eunice, you share with an honesty that is tangible and real. "The truth of who we are is so much grander than any role we play or adopt." So often we are caught in the roles we set ourselves into when the truth is we are all equal in the fact that our foundational essence is that of love. As we see each other from this point , it translates to a harmony among people as there is no competition or recognition required, just all of us doing our part equally so whether it be cleaning the floors of the operating theatre or the surgeon performing the operation we are all part of the whole picture quite beautifully and equally so.

We are who we are, not what we do

This is beauty-full Eunice, we often forget as women to be ourselves first, and what we do second. Whether we're surgeons or astronauts or butchers or cleaners or whatever it's important to be ourselves as the woman we are first and foremost, and then the job as something we do from there. I love your poem too :)

Thank You!

I love this piece. Thanks so much for sharing!

a role as an excuse to be abusive...

Such an important expose Eunice. I have dealt with a handful of surgeons who all seemed to be in that 'role of a surgeon'and it seemed to give them permission to 'get away with' any kind of behavior and no one called them out on it... it felt to me like a dangerous situation where the patient is vulnerable in need of their services but the surgeons were not coming from the love that they are which you so speak of. I want the person not the title!
13 Jul

Charities exposed for Cold-calling: what is True Charity?..

How charitable is cold-calling?

You may say, “what a ridiculous question, it’s obvious there is no charity in cold-calling”, yet we have seen this week how a number of large charities in the UK think it is appropriate to ‘cold-call’ people to raise money for their charities, including Oxfam, Save the Children, the British Red Cross, Macmillan and Cancer Research amongst others.

They employ companies to do the dirty work – and dirty work it is indeed. Fundraisers were apparently "ordered to be 'brutal' and 'ferocious' when asking for money"...and that people " 'have no excuse' not to give, even if they are elderly or poor."  The under-cover videos in this article show the tactics that are used to get people to depart with their cash. No-one is spared from being given this opportunity to donate including elderly pensioners and those with dementia. How twisted and distorted is the thinking that converts the imposing technique of cold-calling elderly people with dementia, using tactics to coerce them to donate money to the charity and calls it ‘giving them the opportunity to donate’?

How far removed have people become from what are ethically and morally acceptable practices? To me, cold-calling people and effectively coercing and forcing them to donate, is the absolute antithesis of charity. Whilst they may argue that no force is used, I would have to disagree. It takes a force devoid of true love and care to cold-call and force, harass, coerce, persuade, talk around, people to donate to a charity. As a consequence of this exposure the government is apparently bringing in new laws to curb such shameful tactics. However, it is in itself an indictment of the charities and the people who are implementing and condoning these practices that such laws are needed. True charity would not require such laws for it would go against the very essence of what true charity is to behave in such a way. 

The word charity comes from the Latin caritas, translated variably as meaning eternal love, unconditional love, God’s love, love of all mankind, generous love, Christian love. The latter of course refers to the love that is the Christ that lives within every human being – not just those who profess to be Christian or who align to the Christian religion. The Christ being the energy of the soul (of love) in embodiment – something that every human being has the potential to live.

What is consistent is that it is a love that is freely given, with no attachments, expectations, investments, needs or demands. And so it follows that true charity are acts done, money given, time and space offered, with no investment of self of any kind – where there is absolutely nothing in it for us, but we do what we do and give what we give with, from and for love.  It sounds simple – but perhaps is not so easy to live given our human predilections for “what’s in it for me, me, me, me?’ to take hold. There are the obvious and not so obvious investments, attachments, and other emotional hooks than can catch us out – for example:

  • Do we feel better about ourselves for having given to a charity?
  • Have we given just because everyone else is giving?
  • Have we given out of guilt – the haves vs the have nots? Guilty that others are less well off than ourselves?
  • Have we given because it is expected, but it’s not really something we want to do?
  • Have we given to not be shown up in some way, to be considered uncharitable, a miser or thought to be hard of heart?
  • Do we give out of pity or sympathy for those deemed less well off?
  • Have we given and then resented the fact that we gave our hard–earned cash away? Or our time to a project, a charity, cause, a friend in need, when we really would have preferred to have been doing something else, something better, something for me and my family?

And so the list goes on ----- if any of the above resonate, then we know we have not given in true charity but have had some investment or need for self.

And so perhaps there are not too many people or too many charities out there who are truly giving of their time and money with ZERO investment of self. Certainly all of the above charities that were exposed in the article for cold-calling and haranguing people for money using ‘boiler –room tactics’ are far, far removed from true charity.

Of course it’s always easy to point the finger at others and the real work is looking at ourselves and removing our own attachments and investments which requires a radical self-honesty to clock when we are doing something for self, when the ‘what’s in it for me’ rises up, and when it is purely and simply for the love of all. I can recognise both within myself – times when I have done something but there was an undercurrent of resentment about it, and other times when I have freely given with zero need for anything in return. The two feel quite different in my body. The first is heavy and sticky, the second is open, expansive and free-flowing.

I have been privileged to learn about and see first hand true charity at work by the living example of Serge Benhayon. For over 7 years I have witnessed and experienced him give of his time and services freely to hundreds and hundreds of people including myself over and above his paid work. But it has not just been the giving, but the quality that comes with that giving – his patience is unending, every individual is totally held, listened to and met with love no matter how big or small the issue is, there is no rushing to get away, no flicker of resentment or frustration, for there is only true caritas, true caring, true charity.  The list of the ways that he has given of his time and services freely to support many across the world would fill a book.

Many have been inspired by his example and subsequently the College of Universal Medicine Charity has been established by the students of Universal Medicine and endeavours to live by and adhere to the principles of true charity – where there is no investment of self. I know for certain that cold-calling will never be a part of this charity for there is absolutely nothing charitable about call-calling and persuading people to depart with their money. If it is not freely given with love, without force, coercion, persuasion, guilt, sympathy, pity, resentment, need, attachment, expectation or investment then it is not true charity. 

The College of Universal Medicine Charity is a forum through which we can return to the community that which has been given to us. We all know how much our lives have benefitted from applying and living the principles of the Ageless Wisdom as presented and lived by Serge through Universal Medicine, where lives have been transformed, people ultimately healing themselves of all kinds of physical, psychological, emotional and spiritual ills and being empowered to be who they truly are and share that with the world. It is by its very nature not something that can be contained within or held for a few – but calls to be freely given to all mankind that they too may know who they are and arise out of the quagmire, misery, struggles and suffering that many find themselves in, in the knowing that they are already healed, already whole, already love and thus there is no need for any pity, sympathy, attachment or investment of any kind. True Charity is Love Blessing Love. 

30 Jun

Paul Girvan's 'Conscience Clause' - taking N. Ireland back to the Dark Ages..

In the past year a furore erupted in N.Ireland over a cake – Ascher’s bakery refused to bake a cake for a gay man in support of gay marriage on the basis it went against their conscience or perhaps more accurately their beliefs. Following on from this, N. Ireland politician Paul Girvan has tabled a ‘conscience clause’, which if it was successful would give people the right to refuse admission to gay people in hotels, restaurants or to refuse to provide any form of service to gay people on the basis that it went against the ‘conscience’ or ‘beliefs’ of those providing the service. Any service provision that was deemed to be promoting, endorsing or celebrating same sex relationships could be refused if such a law was passed. 

It is shocking in this day and age that people actually think this is ok and can boldly stand in public and make such suggestions. It is rampant homophobia dressed up as ‘going against ones conscience’. Well if one’s conscience is in any way supporting such discrimination then we need to go up against it and call it out for what it is – blatant discrimination. Imagine if instead of gay it said black people? Or Jewish people? Or dare I say catholic or protestant? It doesn’t matter what the label is – all of it is bigoted discrimination that has no place in a modern day society where the equality of all should be first and foremost.

Girvan asks the question if gay rights are more important than religious rights - showing that he misses the point altogether. This is about equality of all - not one group or faction above another. People believe all kinds of things in the name of religion that are not founded upon equality - and so yes, when that occurs equality legisaltion trumps religious beliefs that endorse discrimination and rightly so.  

Girvan argues that Christians are being denied their rights and are not being treated equally as they have to provide services that offend their beliefs. Well, any beliefs that support discrimination against another human being for any reason need to be offended, challenged and called out. Equality is not about giving people the right to discriminate against others based on beliefs that are man-made – because for sure no such beliefs emanate from God.

How far away from the Christ can you get? It is a complete misappropriation to claim to be acting in God’s name or Christ’s name when tabling such proposals – as if the source of omnipotent love is really looking down saying, “Yes Mr Girvan, that’s right I love everyone equally – except gay people”. It’s ridiculous and if it wasn’t so serious it would be laughable. It is a clear example of some ‘Christians’ using beliefs in the name of Christ, but which actually are the anti-thesis of the true Christ and his Love, which is for all equally so.

Yet apathy can end up with such motions being passed – apathy by all the people who disagree and know this is just another fundamentalist attack on the equality of all. We can shake our heads and disagree in coffee shops and restaurants or at work  - but do we actually do anything about it? Do we let it be known that this motion is offensive to any human being who knows the equality of all?

When good people stand back and do nothing, evil (the forces that promote separatism, them and us, amongst humanity in whatever form that takes) gets a free reign – for there is no doubt it is evil to suggest that a group of people are somehow lesser or offensive to us just because they have a different sexuality and thus cannot be treated with the same respect and service as everyone else.

The conscious clause is nothing more than the human desire to have a law that gives people the right to discriminate – it has absolutely nothing to do with the true love of God. Girvan and those who agree with him, might as well say they are complaining that they are being discriminated against because of their ‘right’ to discriminate! Just because people have been fed beliefs that to be gay is an abomination, an affront to God, ‘wrong’, ‘unnatural’, not Godly, or absolutely any of the other derogatory remarks used against people who are homosexual, does not make those beliefs true! It does not make it a fact, there is no evidence for them – confirming that they are only beliefs – unproven and unsubstantiated. When the true nature of the human being is known and felt - then it is also known that these beliefs are in fact not innocent beliefs but deeply harming lies.

Of course they argue that “the Bible says….” . The Bible is a book written approximately 2000 years ago by people who were not living the truth that the Christ lived. Whilst it contains wisdom it also contains falsities and it requires discernment to know what is true and what is not. The purity of our inner hearts, unimpeded by imposed outer beliefs is the best arbiter of what is true and what is not.

By reconnecting to the inner heart and essence of our being, we come to know that we are love, that we are all Sons of God – with no one lesser or higher. This can be felt and known to be true as an energetic fact as well as being consistent philosophically and religiously. If we have this foundational truth and principle as our guide and compass then it is clear that there is no need for a ‘conscience clause’, for any form of discrimination is offensive, and goes against our very nature of love, care and acceptance of all in the absolute knowing that all are equal.


Conscience Clause

Eunice, you have put the nail in the coffin of the idiotic Conscience Clause - a nail that should close the discussion right here, right now. You speak with such clarity and conviction it is hard to imagine anyone would try to argue against a word you have written. Thank you for continuing to bring a loud and righteous voice to our world which is often shrouded in chaos and darkness.


Dear Eunice, It's been an absolute Honour to read your blog. It has a very very Strong message: DO NOT MESS UP WITH THE BASIC RIGHTS OF PEOPLE THROUGHOUT OUR (!) SOCIETY. There's not one single argument or reason that justifies separation. In this case putting Christians above Gays. Where really, behind the 2 stereotypes are people. Just like you and I. Godly people. Paul Girvan's opinion in this case is in fact very very cruel. I'm wondering if he's actually aware of what he is actually saying. If he is, to me that should be considered a crime. We - as a society - have to come back to our senses and call evil for what it is. And indeed - as Eunice is stating here - everything that is creating separatism is evil. This asks for a general consideration of how the world is today. Because there's not many that live with this integrity. And whilst there are many that would agree, there's hardly any that share publicly how they feel about it. And publicly doesn't necessarily need to be on a blog on the internet, but can also be at the dinner table, with friends, at work, etc. Or even just in our heads, CALL IT FOR WHAT IT IS. Because this is the way we create energy together to come Truly back to our senses and start acting on it as well. Thank you deeply Eunice to bring this to the fore. It is much appreciated!

Paul Girvan's 'Conscience Clause'-

I love how you have exposed the intent of this bill. It is taking everything in the striving for equality back to its original inequality. It would undo all that has been achieved.

Eunice you deftly deconstruct

Eunice you deftly deconstruct the corrosiveness of a belief in inequality. This needs to be shared wide.
24 May

Ireland says a BIG YES to Equality and Gay Marriage. ..

Yesterday Ireland became the first country in the world to legislate for same sex marriage based on the popular vote of the people. And the people of Ireland have spoken loud and clear and given a resounding YES to inclusivity, to acceptance, to equality and to love. The people of Ireland have listened to and been guided by the wisdom and love in their own hearts, rightly bypassing the doctrinal religious teachings that in the past would have been the source of their guidance for such decisions.

The archbishop of Dublin, Diarmuid Martin, has stated that the church needs a ‘reality check’ in light of the result and the overwhelming support for gay marriage that has directly contravened the teachings and advice of the religious leaders in Ireland.

Perhaps, it is time for the church to wake up, to listen to and learn from the people – the people who are in fact showing a true example of the love of God in action compared to those who are preaching from the pulpits against gay marriage; which is to be against equality, against inclusivity and against love. To be against love is to be against God – for God is love – and that love knows that every human being on the planet is equal.

For far too long gay people have been marginalized, outcast, downtrodden, rejected, abused, vilified, ridiculed and even killed – all because they love people of the same gender! It is absurd and ridiculous to say the least that a human being can be subject to such hateful abuse – all because they love another person of the same sex. That it has taken until 2015 for this to become obvious is an indictment of the religious teachings that have promulgated homophobia in their teachings and of us as people who listened and adhered to them.

Given that homosexuality was only decriminalized in Ireland just over 20 years ago – shows that great strides have been made since then to have a majority of the population voting in favour of gay marriage in the recent referendum. The fall of the Catholic church in Ireland due to the child abuse scandals and more has helped remove the wool from people’s eyes and to see that the church and its leaders are not infallible paragons of virtue – and that their authority as a source of moral and ethical guidance has been seriously jeopardized. It has given the people the opportunity to listen to their own wisdom, unfettered by the deeply harming and separative teachings of the church. Rather than go by the teachings of the institutionalized religion, it seems to me that people are being guided by the wisdom of their own hearts, by their own love, by the God that lives within their own being – a relationship that could be called true religion.  Equality is a cornerstone of love – without equality there is no true love. God loves all equally and it is our call to do likewise and the people of Ireland have taken a grand step in expressing that love for all equally by supporting gay marriage.

This too was emulated in the decision by the judge to find Asher’s bakery guilty of discrimination against the gay man in the case I commented on recently. A victory for justice, equality and for love. The bakery are now only going to make cakes for babies and birthdays in order to avoid having to make cakes that support gay marriage. This is where the difference between the love of Christ that loves all irrespective of gender, sexuality, creed, race or any other identifier and Christianity as organised religion is all too clear.

The real evil here that needs to be exposed are the religious teachings that feed people the absolute lies that being gay is an ‘abomination’, is evil, is a sin, is against God, is punishable by being sent to hell and a host of other religious teachings that serve to denigrate and dehumanize gay people, to make them feel guilty for being born and being who they are. The cost of such teachings is unfathomable – for so long gay people have been forced to lead secret lives, have been inculcated to feel guilt and shame for being who they are, have become addicted to alcohol or drugs as a way of numbing their pain, have taken their own lives or been killed by others along with the endless list of abuses they have endured. When the truth is the opposite of that promulgated by institutionalised religion – being gay is not an abomination, it is the true expression of love for many, and is to be accepted, nurtured and cherished as such. It is in no way an affront to God or against God – God is love and it is through love that we come to know God – whether that love is for a person of the same gender or not. The gender in that sense is irrelevant – what matters is the quality of the love. Is it a love that is all encompassing, open, accepting, understanding, allowing that sees and knows all are equal?

Whilst I greatly appreciate and celebrate the people of Ireland for taking a step in the direction of love and equality – there is work to be done! Northern Ireland needs to follow suit but is significantly curtailed and restrained by the false religious teachings that many of the country’s politicians adhere too. Such is the strength of their patriarchal superiority they think they know better than the people and have refused thus far to hold a similar referendum in the North. The day will come when gay marriage is legalized in Northern Ireland – it is just a matter of how long we have to wait for the dinosaurs to become extinct once more!

Furthermore, in terms of equality, there are the issues of women’s rights and access to abortion to contend with both north and south of the border. So let us not get too complacent just yet – the day is yet to come when women in Ireland are held as autonomous and equal individuals who have the power to make decisions over their own bodies without the patronizing patriarchal constrictions and restrictions that are currently in place.

So well done Ireland for recognising, honouring and acknowledging the equality of our gay brothers and sisters across this land and the wider world. May it set an example that other countries and people follow such that no man or woman should ever need to hide, or feel guilt or shame for being who they are or live in fear of being who they are and expressing their love for another human being of the same sex ever again. 


A big thank you to the people of Ireland, breaking the shackles of old dogma and control, and taking the lead in showing the world a loving way to accept and to love everyone as equals.

God is Love.. as are We.

God is love and love is every way of living in connection to and from this love, it couldn't be more simple and more about our acceptance of ourselves and each other as equal beholders of this true and love-filled way of existence.

Is it possible the Catholic

Is it possible the Catholic Church will come out from behind its cloak and realise its time to live with humanity equally? Maybe they can bring the politicians out as well. It's time all bastions lived truth and integrity based on equalness and true love. It might take a while for them to catch on what that actually is, so no more delay!


I did not think that was going to happen! What a turn up - it just shows what you can do just by challenging the status quo, the church does need a reality check and in a country like Ireland where religion has such a hold, it is a amazing that they saw the writing on the wall and responded. If they respond to this, as they have - what else can we challenge the church on?

indeed Joshua - imagine if

indeed Joshua - imagine if people's minds had not been poisoned by such false religious teachings and instead they were encouraged to listen to the wisdom of love in their own hearts - then this day could have come alot sooner. I too have gay friends where I know the love is solid and pure and where they are a shining example of living loving relationships that many of us can learn from!   

Ireland says Big Yes to Equality and Gay Marriage

Eunice , this is such a stirring and deeply heartfelt message it brought me to tears - a Big Yes - to one more step towards Equality for all - Thankyou for sharing this and I surely hope a lot of people in Ireland get to read this blog for it is truly inspiring.

yes Beverley and what message

yes Beverley and what message does that send to the people?? This is the same patronising patriarchal rubbish we have in N Ireland where those in parliament deem themselves superior to the people. 

True Equality should be the Norm!

So well expressed Eunice. Gay relationships have been held for so long as wrong or 'dirty' or even unnatural and outcast in many societies of our modern times. I know for one I have held this same view of gay couples and know it is deeply engrained not only in the Church but also social and cultural ideals. Good on Ireland for this true revolution of equality as I have begun over recent times to observe true love in gay couples I know and can say it is truly gorgeous and something the must be embraced by all.

Ireland says a BIG YES to Equality and Gay Marriage.

Eunice, I support you in all you have said here. This was a wonderful result for true equality. About time that also happened here in Australia. But it does not look as if we are going to be given the opportunity here yet, it is claimed that it is the right of Parliament to make the decision, rather than the people of Australia.

Fantastic news!

Fantastic news! It does seem ridiculous that in 2015 we are still even discussing whether gay people should have the same rights as all others. Ireland is a shining example to other countries to have come so far in such a relatively short period of time. As you say, this is what happens when people listen to their hearts (their innate wisdom) rather than the church.

Powerful and heartfelt

Powerful and heartfelt expression Eunice. Love is love and renders all equal, is the simple, profound and compelling take home message I received from your article.

hear hear!

hear hear!
28 Mar

The Cake, the Christ and Christians - what's really going on? A call for equality, freedom of conscience or homophobic religious discrimination? ..

N. Ireland is currently in the midst of a legal case that is set to be a landmark case between equality rights and religious beliefs. The case centres on a cake, one that Asher's bakery refused to bake because the purchaser asked for the slogan "support gay marriage" to be on the top of the cake. The bakery initially accepted the order and took the payment, even though the person who took the order knew they would not agree to make the cake because of their religious convictions. The purchaser, Gareth Lee, was later contacted and told by the bakery that they were not going to make the cake due to their personal religious beliefs.

The McArthur family who own and run Asher's bakery state that they do not support gay marriage as it goes against their religious beliefs based on the teachings of the bible. They could "not stand before God" and make the cake with a slogan that supports gay marriage. It is clear from reports that the McArthur family take their faith very strongly and endeavour to live their life by the teachings of the bible, which they clearly hold as the source of truth about God and Christ and are earnest in their conviction that they wish to uphold the will of God. For them taking a stance to not make a cake that was in support of gay marriage is, they believe, aligned with the will of God and they argue on the basis of freedom of conscience that they should not be forced by equality legislation to make a cake with a statement that goes against their religious belief. In addition they have had the support of many Christians across the province who are just as convinced that to support to gay marriage is in some way an affront to God and the Christ. They feel in fact that they are ones being discriminated against on the basis of their religious beliefs. 

So what is really going on here? 
Is the McArthur's stance a true representation of the will of God or Christ? 
Or is it a distorted man made belief that is nothing more than homophobia dressed up in religious beliefs? 
Is there any substance to the claims that supporting gay marriage goes against the will of God? 
Should religious beliefs usurp equality legislation? 
Is it more important to give credence to individual religious belief, even if it leads to discriminating against others than to legislation which recognises the inherent equality of all irrespective of religious belief ? 

This case is a great example of man using God to substantiate his own prejudices and beliefs and what can happen when actions are based on beliefs that do not come from the living source of Love that God is. Whilst the bible contains many wisdom teachings it is not the infallible word of God that many Christians hold it to be but a man-made collection of edited writings that require judicious discernment to know what is truly representative of God and inspired by Him and what is not.

God is love first and foremost, and we connect to that source of love within our own hearts. That source of love knows without a shadow of doubt that all people are not just equal, but equal sons of God whose essence is also love. Jesus said ' the Kingdom of God is within' and it is by connecting with this source of love within that we can come to feel and know what is true truth and what are bastardised teachings devoid of the Love of God. When this love is felt and known there can be no doubt that God loves gay people exactly the same as every other human being, and if two gay people love each other and want to show their commitment to each other in marriage then so be it....and so yes, it could be said that God supports gay marriage. Now there's a slogan for a cake! It does not matter to God whether people who get married are heterosexual or homosexual and therefore those who use God to argue for their beliefs of discrimination against gay people are taking his name in vain and misrepresenting the all encompassing love of God.

To imagine for one second that the omnipotent source of love, loves all except those who are gay or who support gay marriage is absurdly ridiculous to say the least. Any religious belief which supports any form of segregation or separation of humanity by gender, sexuality, religious belief or nationality is not coming from God but playing into the hands of those who want to keep humanity at war with itself. The love of God is a unifying power that recognises the equality of all irrespective of religious belief, gender, sexuality or nationality and thus equality legislation is more in keeping with the love of God than those religious beliefs that are anti-gay and which in fact are nothing more than forms of bigoted religious discrimination devoid of the love of the God.

I have read that the defence is making the point that this is not about the person that ordered the cake but about the cake itself and the slogan on it in order to not be seen as discriminating. But the request for the cake did not manifest out of thin air, it came from a person, a person who is gay and who supports gay marriage. To say it is about the cake and not the person is to pretend that the cake request somehow came into being on its own -  which it clearly did not - it came from a person, a person who supports gay marriage. The bakery has no problem making cakes at Halloween with witches on them even though I suspect witches are not consistent with their religious beliefs - so why single out people who support gay marriage? If the slogan was "hate all Jews" or Catholics or Christians or any other group of people then the bakery could rightly justify refusing to bake a cake that supported hate - but the message here is for one of love and acceptance of our fellow humankind who are gay and who wish to express their commitment to love through marriage. It could be said that refusing to bake the cake is analogous to baking one that says "hate all gays", in the message that it sends out to the world. 

If the McArthurs and Asher's bakery win this case then it is a sad day for humanity and equality. It opens the door to all kinds of discrimination based on nothing more than man-made prejudices that have nothing to do with the love of God. Gay people could be refused services across this land and further afield - barred from hotels, pubs, restaurants, bed and breakfast, shops and churches - the potential list is endless. Will we see signs up 'no gays allowed' in windows of restaurants or bed and breakfasts? Ironically placed by Christians who in the name of Christ are doing the opposite of what the Christ would do - which is to welcome and love all with open arms.  

Conviction in ones beliefs is not enough to say they must be recognised or that they can usurp equality - radical Muslims believe they are acting in the will of Allah to kill the cartoonists in Paris or fly into the twin towers in New York or to behead people in cold blood - does that mean they too are excused on the basis of religious belief? That may sound crazy .....but if Ashers win this case then we are opening the door to all kinds of craziness founded upon religious belief. We can all see and know the actions of radical Muslims are evil and in no way representative of the love of God - but they are at one end of a spectrum and at the other end we have the refusal to make a cake that supports gay marriage dressed up as freedom of conscience and 'Christian beliefs' by people who truly feel they are acting according to God's will. But a Christian who does not recognise the equality of his fellow brother, be that brother gay, and his right to marriage the same as heterosexual people is coming from the same source that tells a radical Muslim to kill - it is just wrapped up in niceness, earnestness and sincerity. Of course radical muslims are a minority and are not representative of the way of the true religion of Islam which is loving and peaceful and is just used here as an example of how religious beliefs can be used to justify heinous crimes - and it applies to anyone who uses any religion to justify persecution or discrimination of any kind of another.  However, in this example, the evil of the radical Muslim is easy to see, but what about evil that comes wrapped in niceness, earnestness and sincere religious belief? Is it even more harming as it can fool many well meaning people into thinking it is ok? Yet it is not ok - it is not ok to deny anyone the right to love, and if they so desire, to marry a consensual adult of their choosing. Refusing to bake the cake with 'support gay marriage' is just the thin edge of the wedge that at the deep end has others killing and maiming in the name of God. 

If we all lived according to the love of God that resides within we would not even need equality legislation for it would be part and parcel of our way of living to know and recognise the equality of all, to extend the love of God to all. As Jesus said,  'by their fruits ye shall know them' - it is by our lived actions, by how we treat our neighbours, our customers, our clients and so forth that we can be known to express the love of God or not. Thus any form of discrimination, separation, segregation, feeling superior or judgement does not come from God - refusing to bake a cake that says 'support gay marriage' is just a form of homophobic religious discrimination and needs to be called out as such.  It has nothing to do with the love of God that recognises the equality of all and is therefore also a serious misrepresentation of the divine - something that religious institutions in particular have excelled at for aeons! 
God, the Heavenly Father of All loves ALL and it is our call to love as he Loves, to know that we are a one humanity,  all divine expressions of the one source of all, all innately equal and to accord each other the respect, love and kindness we would like to receive. The more we live this for ourselves, the more we are able to be it for others. 

So how will this particular cake crumble? Will religious beliefs that are misguided and misrepresentative of God, designed to perpetuate the separation of humanity, take precedence over the equality of all that we all innately know in our inner hearts is right and true?

The Cake, the Christ and Christians

Rachel, I love your comment, much humour, but much truth. I agree 'To use religion or God's will to push a personal belief and agenda shows a deep misunderstanding of what God and love really is'. God is love, God does not judge, so what right does this cake shop owner have to judge how this customer wanted his cake to be decorated?

Is "religious freedom" freedom to hate?

This exact same scenario, cake and all, also happened recently in Utah. Utah has been central to the battle in the USA between Equal Rights and 'religious freedom'. Unfortunately, the legislators of Utah responded by passing a bill that was marketed as protecting LGBTQ community from discrimination, but they conveniently added in clauses that make religious people exempt from exercising this law. Other states have followed suit. It has been heralded as a "win-win" situation, and as a peaceful compromise between the two sides. The whole bill feels like a wolf dressed in sheepskin to me. I agree with you Eunice, that this is conveniently disguised as a 'win-win situation' when it is really the right to hate, and the right to separate. The rights of ALL should be considered equally, without special exceptions for the rights of those with certain beliefs. I would not be surprised to see signs in certain businesses in Utah that ban gays from service. I hope Ireland is able to see through the fog of so-called "religious freedom".

" this is not about the

" this is not about the person that ordered the cake, but about the cake itself" - The other place you hear this defense is 'gun's don't kill people, people do" -- make no sense in both cases.

Its a case of not being able

Its a case of not being able to have your cake or eat it because sorry you are gay and therefore you are not equal or worthy of God's love and should be punished. Oh come on! What century are we living in here? To use religion or its God's will to push a personal belief and agenda shows a deep misunderstanding of what God and love really is. I truly hope common sense prevails here and that justice is served (perhaps with cake and a cup of tea?).
13 Mar

Women in Surgery: Should we kneel down and open our mouths, lie back and close our eyes, or stand up and speak the Truth? ..

Dr Gabrielle McMullin, a senior vascular surgeon in Australia, has recently caused a stir by stating that women in surgery should stay quiet about sexual abuse, harassment or advances from male superiors if they wish to continue in a surgical career.

She was commenting on a case of a female surgical trainee, Caroline Tan, who won her case for sexual harassment but could then not find employment in any public hospital in Australia. Dr McMullin said,

"Her career was ruined by this one guy asking for sex on this night. And, realistically, she would have been much better to have given him a blow job on that night."

She goes on to say, "What I tell my trainees is that, if you are approached for sex, probably the safest thing to do in terms of your career is to comply with the request; the worst thing you can possibly do is to complain to the supervising body because then, as in Caroline's position, you can be sure that you will never be appointed to a major public hospital."

In a follow up article Dr McMullin says she is not ‘condoning abuse’ or these types of behaviours, but states that there is a problem that needs to be addressed.

There have been a number of articles written on this since and some women have come forward anonymously to speak of their experiences of sexual abuse and harassment, in fear that if they speak out they will be ostracised and their careers over.

In the heat of the media glare after making such comments, Dr McMullin may not wish to be seen as ‘condoning abuse’ but in actual fact her comments, if accurately reported, are doing just that. Recommending trainees to just suck it up when it comes to sexual abuse and harassment may appear in some misguided way to be a solution of sorts that keeps the person in a job, but it is definitely not the answer to the problem of sexual abuse/harassment and misogyny in surgery or the wider field of medicine.

Two wrongs do not make a right – and it is wrong that there is abuse in the first place and it is wrong to condone that abuse with advice to permit it by just lying back and closing our eyes or kneeling down and opening our mouths. It is deeply disturbing that this is both occurring within medicine and that the ‘best advice’ a top female surgeon can give is to comply with it.  Indeed such advice only perpetuates the culture that says this is ok and it will not change until more women (and men) speak up and say this is totally unacceptable and take action to expose such behaviour. Silence, saying nothing, doing nothing is only a way of ensuring that these forms of abuse continue. Furthermore, it is a most disempowering approach to take, one that sees women as powerless and helpless victims, who seemingly have no choice but to get on their knees if they wish to continue in a career in surgery.

Dr McMullin’s article has brought a subject that was very much in the dark out into the cold light of day and the responses have been varied. Some have denied that this is a significant problem, stating that only a few complaints to the medical boards concern sexual harassment. But this most likely just confirms the reluctance of female trainees to report such episodes. The latter being confirmed by some coming out and speaking up now following Dr McMullin’s comments, and tellingly so doing it anonymously.

Some point out that it’s not just the overt sexual advances that are the problem but the underlying misogynistic culture that thinks it’s ok to make such remarks as: the only female surgeons that are acceptable are the ones that are ‘childless, single and pretend to be men’.

Dr McMullin’s comments have also now tarred all female surgeons with the sexual brush. All those years of hard work, dedication, study, and on call, for the sake of their greater calling – have now been reduced in some people’s eyes and minds to: 'She slept her way into the job' and this will actually provide more fodder for justifying future abuse of women.


Whilst my own experiences in surgical training have been positive and affirming, I encountered some misogynistic comments as a medical student regarding women in surgery, but that was over 25 years ago when the patriarchal attitudes were perhaps more pervasive. But those comments did not affect me nor put me off a career in surgery – if anything it made me more determined to do it. At the same time, when it came to lighthearted banter I could give as good as I got, and for me personally that wasn’t an issue.  It would be an interesting piece of research to find out the extent of this issue in the UK as well, for even though it wasn’t a significant part of my own experience, I am aware that it does occur and it needs to be addressed.

However, a close friend and colleague Dr Anne Malatt, who is an eye surgeon in Australia, shares with us her experiences:

“When I was training to be a doctor, on my first day at the hospital we went to an ENT (Ear Nose and Throat) clinic. The tall gruff surgeon showed us our first ever patient, an elderly gentleman. He asked him to open his mouth and it was full of maggots, eating his tongue cancer. He then proceeded to demonstrate a mouth examination, using me as the subject. He shoved a wooden tongue depressor into my mouth so hard that I gagged, and laughed and said: 'Well, you won’t be much good giving head!'

There were numerous snide comments, rude jokes and generally demeaning treatment through my training. I would make light of them, but they were offensive and hurtful. Despite them all, I passed surgery with honours.

I was inspired to become an eye surgeon.

I was the only one of 13 candidates to pass the primary exam at the time that I sat it. This exam was required for entry into the surgical training programme at the time. Yet I was frequently, and sometimes to my face, accused of sleeping my way into the job.

My friend and I were the first women to be accepted into the programme for 5 years. We were given second-rate surgical jobs, and ignored when we questioned why, given we were the most ‘worthy’ of the ‘good’ jobs, on paper.

I remember sitting in the tearoom one morning and the senior consultant saying to me: 'It is a waste of time and money training you girls – you are just going to get married and have babies.' "


Pregnancy has been used as a weapon to undermine and discredit female colleagues, by suggesting they would not be in the profession for the long-term.

And from another female surgeon in Australia: "I was told when I was an intern that there are only two types of women surgeons: women who shouldn't be surgeons and surgeons who shouldn't be women," she said.

It is clear that with attitudes such as these, true equality in surgery is but an illusion in such environments. What is perhaps astonishing to consider is that most, perhaps even all, of these men are probably married, could have daughters, sisters and have had mothers – do they treat these women in the same way? Would they like their nearest and dearest women to be treated in the same way as they are treating others? Do they think it’s one rule for the workplace and another for home? But that too is an illusion – showing such disrespect to one woman is in effect showing disrespect to all.  

Only when women are accepted as human beings and women first and foremost, not pretend men, or even as doctors /surgeons, will there be true equality.


The issue here is not just the few or the many men that are involved in such cases, it is the culture of surgery and medicine in general which has allowed such incidences and more to go unchecked for many, many years. The culture of medicine itself is toxic and abusive – little wonder then when it churns out doctors who are also abusive, not just to others, but to themselves. The system of medical training is abusive – long hours of study and work to swallow copious amounts of information, training/teaching by humiliation was just par for the course and there was definitely no sense of care for how the students were coping and living on a daily basis.  

The caring profession has spectacularly failed in its first duty of care – which should be to the students and staff within that profession.

Hence we have higher rates of addiction and suicide in medicine than the general population and rates of burnout of 1 in 2. Astonishing facts that are just another face of the abusive and toxic culture of medicine.

So what is the answer?

  • As a profession we need to state categorically that this type of behaviour is unacceptable and in no way condone such practices.
  • Women need to speak up at the time the incidents occur, to say no and to know they do not need to prostitute themselves to be successful in their career.
  • Empowering female trainees to know how to address sexual abuse when it comes their way, to know they are worth more and that they are not helpless victims.
  • Empowering male doctors to also speak up and call out such incidents when aware of them.
  • A mechanism for reporting incidents of abuse and harassment that trainees can trust and which has effective powers – one that may need to be independent from the mainstream medical culture and ‘old boys club’ approach to such issues.
  • A change of culture is required and that will only come about by the individuals within that culture changing and saying no to the current abusive and toxic system.
  • Developing a culture of medicine that is based on care for the human being first and foremost who is training to be a doctor – such that they develop a care, love and respect for themselves to the point that such abusive ways towards another or to self are eliminated. 


Changing the culture of medicine will not happen overnight, but let us not underestimate the power we have to bring about that change by using our voice and saying no. Men and women all need to take responsibility for their part in perpetuating this toxic system and for bringing about change – for each of us it starts with ourselves and what we are prepared to accept or not accept. It starts with each of us standing up and speaking the Truth and not accepting anything less.

The following is an adaptation of the words of the Army Chief David Morrison regarding the army, made relevant to surgery and medicine:

Every one of us is responsible for the culture and reputation of surgery and medicine and the environment in which we work. If we become aware of any individual degrading another, then we need to show moral courage and take a stand against it. No one has EVER explained how the exploitation or degradation of others, enhances the capability, or honours the traditions of the Medical Profession. The standard you walk past, is the standard you accept.   

That goes for all of us; leaders have the onus of responsibility of their position to set an example, but that is no excuse for others to be silent bystanders – we all have a voice and can use it.

So what do you and will you walk past? What do you and will you accept?

Women in medicine and elsewhere

Thank you Eunice for exposing the shameful treatment of women in the medical profession. It is painful to read but the best way to bring it to everyone's consciousness. Men and women are jointly responsible for this state of affairs. I understand now that it is only by expressing in full, by refusing to be perceived as second class citizen refusing to submit, refusing to go along to avoid bigger problems down the line, that we can affect change. Let's put an end to the downtrodding of women.

Not being part of the Medical

Not being part of the Medical Fraternity I must say I am only expressing from one looking in from the outside. To me anyone who takes away anothers confidence, feelings of self worth and in the end their livelihood in such a crushing way deserves to be made accountable as the Highest level. Surely when there is often reported a shortage of good Doctors and Surgeons in our Country that everyone, female and male should be valued more than ever. Thank you for revealing these sad state of affairs in our Hospitals Dr Minford!

In full agreement with what

In full agreement with what you say here Gayle. Eunice, you have nailed so many things in this article and brought them out into the open for us all to see and feel and no longer ignore or plead ignorance about. It is shocking, it feels horrible and it is time to say NO MORE.

It is shocking to hear that

It is shocking to hear that nothing much has changed. Having worked as a nurse in London hospitals 40 years ago, the nurses - all female back then - were often treated as less than - as hand maidens of some doctors.

Women in Surgery

'So what do you and will you walk past? What do you and will you accept?' Great questions Eunice to sum up this thoroughly explored topic of abuse in surgery but equally relatable in may spheres of work. It simply boils down to the lack of understanding that we are all equal and that what we will impose on others in a work setting would be horrific and totally unacceptable if it were our own son or daughter we were saying or doing those same abusive things to!

Women in Surgery

It always shocks me that we have a Medical profession that can treat its Women counterparts with such utter disrespect! This is something we certainly need to continually bring out into the light to be aired and changed. I wonder what a man in the same position would do? Surely not accept the degradation to have a career, then have to live with that! It also makes me wonder how much disrespect is shown to female Patients!

Women in Surgery

Thank you Eunice for putting pen to paper on this - as it is so much more powerful coming from someone with your life experience within the sector being abused and now humiliated by comments such as Dr McMullen's . I was shocked when I first heard the response of Dr McMullen and am aware she has tried to amend her intention but her initial comments were received, by me and I suspect most of the public, for what they were, condoning of sexual abuse. The world is made a scarier place by comments such as Dr McMullen's.....and a much safer and richer place by comments such as yours.

I wholeheartedly agree

I wholeheartedly agree Eunice. Anything less than speaking up is just perpetuating and supporting the status quo. Whilst it is a positive step that this is being discussed, it seems like the cases we are hearing of are just the tip of a much larger illness. Your words make me wonder whether this culture of inequality exists across all professions not just medicine.

It is not ever ok to abuse

It is not ever ok to abuse another, ourselves, or our position, this is not something we need to be learn, it is a known. In allowing it by not speaking up we hold hands with it, and say ok to it. It doesn't require a medical degree to know this is wrong, and not ever acceptable!
04 Jan

Bad luck causes cancer……and the world is flat! ..

After a few hours I had just completed an in depth blog post on this topic, replete with references and analysis when the whole thing disappeared from view to be replaced by a clean page!! Alas, I had not saved it along the way...lesson learned! And so I will submit here just a brief entry and perhaps return another day to flesh it out a bit more in another post!

There have been many reports in the news this week that bad luck causes cancer, based on a study that correlated the number of stem cell divisions in different tissues and the cancer rate in those tissues. Those with more stem cell divisions had more cancers ( not that surprising as cancer is cell division beyond the body's control) based on the premise that there were more opportunities for mutations in those with higher number of cell divisions. However, not all mutations are retained or lead to cancer - something that this study does not explain - except to say that for those who get it the cause is 'bad luck'. These are critical questions that go unanswered. An article in the guardian explains some of the flaws in the press reports but does not fully debunk the bad luck theory.

I was also told at medical school that many cancers are just down to bad luck without considering the implications of this. Dr Vogelstein who was behind the study, believes that one major message to come out of the work is that cancer cannot be prevented. And it is reputed that "it helps cancer patients to know" that the disease is not their fault. But it does not say how it helps to keep them as victims of circumstances beyond their control or in other words as victims of bad luck?

Understanding illness and disease is never about blaming the individual or saying its 'your fault' you have cancer or this condition or that condition. It is about bringing understanding in a way that is empowering for the individual, that is healing and which offers them a bigger picture with which to understand their life and their condition and which enables them to develop a truly loving, respectful and honouring relationship with their body and their condition. 

The understandings offered by this study do none of that - they leave people as victims, with no recourse to address or heal the underlying cause - how does that help them? To me it feels very disempowering. 

What if, instead, people understood that how they live their lives, their biography if you like, does affect their biology and has an impact on their body that can be healthy and healing or detrimental and harming? Would that not be worth knowing? 

If I had cancer, to be told it is bad luck, to me leaves me with nowhere to go other than standard medical treatment, nothing I can do myself to change it or heal the underlying cause, no steps I can take to help prevent it coming back, no way to understand it that gives me some empowerment and control - it leaves me as a victim. 

Whereas if I understand and know that how I have lived my life has in some way contributed to this condition then I have somewhere to go, I can look at how I have been living and consider making changes that are more healthy, I can take responsbility for the choices I have made and continue to make....in the knowing that they have an effect on the health of my body. 

Furthermore, with deeper understanding of illness and disease, I can see this as not something bad, but something that is healing. It gives me a bigger picture to understand myself and my life and who I am. If I know that my body is a vehicle for the love that I am, and that love is unaffected by any illness or disease or even death itself, then even terminal cancer can be seen in a different light. 

To say that cancer or any illness and disease is just bad luck, is to disempower people and rob them of the rich opportunities to heal the underlying cause. It encourages an attitude of irresponsibility - for why bother making healthy choices if it's all down to bad luck?? 

Whilst it can be a big ouch to realise how we have been living in ways that are not truly honouring of ourselves and our bodies, it is but a temporary ouch, once the true glory of our being is realised and even more when it is lived. This is an ever unfolding journey on the cycle that is life with no perfection ever being sought or required. To understand illness and disease as part of the healing journey of life, healing our separation from who we are in truth, is to transform them such that one is never a victim of them but is instead blessed by the healing they bring. 

Science is showing how our lifestyles, our daily choices are resulting in illness and disease much more than was ever acknowledged before. The sciences of epigenetics and psychoneuroimmunology are demonstrating how our thoughts and emotions affect our immune system and genetic expression and can result in illness and disease. As more and more is discovered, the more we realise that we have a much bigger role to play in the conditions we develop than we previously realised and the shift is towards ever increasing personal responsibility for the state of our health. 

I'm sure one day people will look back at those who support the bad luck theory of cancer in a similar way to how we view those who believed the world was flat - with incredulity that this could ever be believed! 

Well said Eunice. I would

Well said Eunice. I would much prefer to be empowered by the knowledge that the 'disease' was my body's way of healing itself and reminding me to look at the way that I live. In the past I have blamed bad luck or genetics on my woes, but in hindsight I gradually have been able to identify how I was living/feeling contributed to the state of my health at the time

What a great article, spot

What a great article, spot on. It seems that we prefer to just be victims and let life take over, instead of claiming our enormous power and our responsibility with every choice we make. There is no such thing as luck or no luck. We have a choice.

Bad luck? I don't think so.

Once again yours is the voice of reason amongst the bogus headlines, this time claiming cancer is just bad luck. As you have so clearly laid out for us, this leaves the person with cancer, a sad helpless victim with no control over their own life. That makes no sense.

Cancer rates

Hi Eunice Your blog is spot on - the claims that it is 'bad luck' aren't quantifiable if the rates of people being diagnosed with cancer are increasing, as per the recent article and statistics from Macmillan Cancer Support (ref - http://www.bbc.com/news/health-30682088) There simply must be something in the way we are living that is causing the rise in diagnoses - or lots more people are a lot more unlucky than those 30 years ago!! Sarah

How much responsibility can we handle?

To me it just makes sense that we have a part to play in our own illness & disease. Most of us can admit that if we catch a cold it is usually because we have been run down or not taking such great care of ourselves leading up to it, if we have a hangover we know it's because of what we drank the night before, if we are tired and grumpy it's because we didn't get such a great night sleep. Perhaps taking responsibility for something more serious like cancer, that takes a lot more to deal with is too much responsibility to take on?

If this is your abridged

If this is your abridged version Eunice, I eagerly await your full article! Thank you; this is a wonderful peep into the real roles we play in ours and everyone else's lives.

Astonished -

Thank you for so clearly likening this proposal about cancer as akin to the proposal that the Earth was flat. On several occasions I have been astonished when seriously ill patients showed remarkable healing and instead of pursuing the point to find out why and how that has happened, the whole thing was dismissed with the favourite label 'spontaneous remission' and so the case was closed. And now we have a study that claims that cancer is due to bad luck and not only is it not laughed out of the door, it is taken seriously. How can scientists remain blinkered to the studies in epigenetics and psychoneuroimmunology that clearly show there is more to the limited view we have been running with and come up with a misleading study that takes us even backwards.

Thank you for such an

Thank you for such an insightful overview of what's really going on behind illness and disease and our individual relationship with and responsibility for it. 'To understand illness and disease as part of the healing journey of life' provides a much needed broader truth beyond just cancer causation.
04 Jan

Selling off the NHS..

Last night I watched this documentary by Peter Bach about the Sell-off of the NHS. It exposes the extensive corruption in political and government circles that is leading to the dismantling of the NHS step by step. The NHS provides cheaper, more cost-effective healthcare than the US with better results but the government persist with going down the route of the US model. You might ask why? Well it has nothing to do with patient care that's for sure. But when you realise that over 200 politicians have links to private health care companies that might provide a clue.....yes money and greed are the underlying motivators in this story. Those who speak up about it experience attempts to silence and intimidate them. Of course professional apathy and burnt out doctors play into the hands of their agenda - and before we know it, too many irreversible steps will have been taken. A recent Bill apparently did away with the longstanding legal obligation of the government to support the NHS - what more clear indication do we need of their agenda?

This film was made to help raise awareness of what is happening. If you care about preserving the NHS, founded on the premise that care would be equal for all and based on need and not ability to pay, then please watch and share....and help to raise awareness of the extent of corruption that is on the verge of destroying the NHS. It needs the people who vote to speak up and not accept these underhand tactics motivated by pure greed. For once the UK follows the US model it opens the doors for other countries to follow suit and more gold in the pockets of the private investors.  

03 Nov

Emotions and Feelings - is there a difference? ..

Many people think that emotions and feelings are just different words for the same thing – that we can use those words interchangeably.

But what if emotions and feelings are not the same?

What if there is a significant difference between them that has implications for our health and wellbeing?

Would it not be helpful to know what the difference was?

You bet it would!

In order to explain the difference, let me explain a little more about the human body and our make up.

Human beings are not just solid matter – we are in fact energetic beings with energy flowing through us all the time in every direction.

It’s like we are made up of lots of holes through which light can enter and leave the body.

We feel this flow of energy in and through the body all of the time – even if we do not recognise it and this flow of energy is felt and is what we know as feelings.

Feelings are the bodily sensations or feelings that register what is going on around us and within us at any moment and which we can tune into or feel as we so choose or not.

So feelings are constantly changing depending on what is going on around us and within us. However, ideally, we have no attachment to them – we just feel them, recognise them and honour them. Feelings are what tells us what is really going on for us and around us, and are much more truthful than the thoughts in our heads!

Indeed we often override what we are feeling in our bodies with our minds in order to please another or gain some form of recognition e.g. we are tired and exhausted and feel that we need to sleep but we continue to work late in order to please the boss or to get his/her approval. 

In addition, we have a natural energy source within us, which is loving, caring and gentle. In order to have harmony in the body, we need to make choices with this same quality of energy as much as possible. If we do not choose this quality then we will have energy flowing through us that is not of our true state and this will be harmful for the body over time. 

So What Happens when we are Emotional?

When we are emotional e.g. angry or frustrated we are running an energy through the body that is not harmonious for it and indeed we can even feel this at the time. These emotions affect our pulse and blood pressure and cause other internal changes as well that affect our cells and organs.

What are Emotions?

Emotions are the result of feelings that have either been reacted too or that have not been felt, recognized, or honoured and may be stuck and carried in the body. Usually they are the result of an unmet need, a hurt, or an expectation that has not been fulfilled. Often there is a story about them and we usually have some attachment to the story and the emotions. Emotions are detrimental to our health both in the moment they occur and over time.  Esoterically and energetically emotions are at the root of many of our illnesses and diseases – so it’s definitely worth knowing about them. Medical science has not fully elucidated this as yet but more and more evidence is accumulating that is confirming the detrimental impact of emotions on health.  

The Differences Between Feelings and Emotions


• occur constantly, all of the time

• can stay centred (do not alter the energetic state of the body)

• non-emotional and feel what is there to be felt

• true guides re what is occurring in life and in our bodies

• can recognise what is going on within and without

• clairsentience is the ability to feel clearly

• based on the energetic truth of what is occurring. 


• reactions to something or someone

• involve a story

• unmet expectation or need

• have a disturbing energetic quality

• we are no longer centred or still (alters the energetic state of the body)

• are poisonous to our health and wellbeing

• based on false beliefs about who we are 

So emotions and feelings are not the same – they feel different and they have different consequences in the body.

Of course it is easy to get caught up in our emotions and think we are them. Sometimes people think a life without the emotional highs and lows would be boring but that is a fallacy. Instead, we can have a consistently steady and joyful way of being, no matter what is going on around us - how great would that be! 

So it is good to let go of emotions knowing they are not healthy and are not who we truly are. We are not our anger, our sadness, our frustration, jealousy or any other emotion – connect to the natural loving energy within and you will know this to be true for yourself. This also helps us to not take other people’s emotional reactions too personally as we know it is not coming from their true essence. By staying centred in such instances, it can assist the other person to return to their essence also.

Feel what you feel, recognise it and honour it – your body will thank you for it!

I love how you succinctly

I love how you succinctly suggest to feel what we feel and how this is an honouring that our bodies will thank us for. I can feel the indulgence now and the burden of carrying my reactions and generating even more emotions in my body.

Great Difference

This is really helpful. Thank you a lot, Eunice. In some languages (i.e. German) we can´t differ between both terms, because only one is used. Your list of differences is very useful to me and I will use it in updating my personal understanding but also in my trainings. I have noticed, that I support many people just by offering the possibility of asking: What are you feeling at this moment? And so everybody can look at the emotion, which has conquered the body and is so hurtful. It just needs honesty ... but that´s another blog.

Great explanation

Great description of the difference between feelings and emotions. It is clear from the explanation in the article that feelings are well worth paying attention to and becoming more aware of, while emotions are clearly toxic to us. Yet most people think they are one and the same. It is great to have the difference clearly explained.

It is so great to have a

It is so great to have a definition between emotions and feelings and how they relate to health. I know the utter hardness and devastation that emotions cause in my body - I'm left felling drained, heavy and with a headache, so in learning to connect to my feelings instead makes for a much healthier body and life style.

Thank you Eunice, I used to

Thank you Eunice, I used to think that feelings and emotions where the same, and held onto a lot of anger, frustration, jealousy and sadness in my body. Over the last few years I have come to understand the difference and as I have started to connect to my feeling more the emotions have started to fade. Now when they do pop up, I am so aware of them that I choose not to get caught in the reaction.


Thanks so much for succinctly putting into words what I have been discovering over the past few years. I have always thought I was my emotions and they have been driving me and my body for years. I have only just started discovering the difference between feelings and emotions and it has been life changing. I still get caught in my emotions and identify with them but the story is becoming less and less and I am now living much steadier than I have in years. I'll 'feel' to that !
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