The Cross - symbolic of Love, Christ or something else?

07 Apr

The leader of the Roman Catholic Church in Scotland, Cardinal Keith O'Brien, has called upon Christians to "wear proudly a symbol of the cross of Christ" every day. This is in the background of a case going to the European Court to allow employees to wear crosses at work. Some argue that as long as it does not interfere with one's work then people should be allowed to wear a simple symbol of their religion if they so choose. 

Whilst the Cross is often associated with Christianity it is in fact an ancient symbol that pre-dates the time of Jesus or Yeshua. It comes from the latin, crux, and was a Roman symbol of death and torture. So how does a symbol of death, torture and suffering come to be representative of The Christ - which is the energy of pure love that was embodied by Jesus/Yeshua?? Something about that just doesn't feel true to me...

From a Christian perspective, it is put forward that the Cross does represent the love of God as he gave his only Son to die on the Cross that we may have our sins forgiven and be saved. But what if, that is simply not true? What if, that is a mis-understanding, mis-interpretation or even a bastardisation of the true teachings of Jesus and The Christ? What if Jesus was crucified not because of God or being given by God, but because of Godlessness, Lovelessness in those who did not recognise him as the Soulful Master that he was, who did not recognise him as the embodiment of The Christ? What if Jesus was not the Only Son of God but that every human being on the planet is a Son of God who has the potential to embody and express the Love of The Christ as Jesus did? What if the only way to be 'saved' from suffering is to know that one is a Son of God and to embody and live that love on a daily basis? 

Of course some do use the symbol of the Cross to remind them of the suffering of Jesus, that suffering is a part of life that cannot be escaped by anyone, that they believe it can make it easier to accept their own suffering, knowing that Jesus also suffered, as the story goes. But what if this again is simply not true?? What if suffering is a necessary part of life only because we live in ignornance of our true nature, contained in a prison of our own making until such time that we come to a deeper truth? A deeper truth regarding our true nature, who we really are and how to live from there in such a way that what once would have caused suffering, no longer does. I know for myself, that even the experience of losing a loved one, something that for most is associated with a great deal of suffering, can be totally transformed, when we live from our essence of love and all that that brings. It has shown me that there is a different way to live and understand life rather than the somewhat limited perceptions I previously held. Of course, as always it is a work in progress for me such that when I slip into old ways of being, or am suffering in some way, I know that I am not living from my essence and can take steps to choose again. 

Thus the Cross can have many meanings and interpretations even within Christianity and for some it has none of those meanings. Indeed for many years I wore a variety of cross shaped necklaces with no religious or spiritual meaning whatsoever - it was just a piece of jewellery I wore and I didn't give it too much thought. However, knowing now that it was orginally used to mean death and torture, that that was the initial energetic imprint or seed of the Cross, I no longer feel to wear those necklaces. I will now often wear a heart shaped necklace instead - as for me that is symbolic of love. I could even say that that is symbolic of my religion, the religion of love, the religion of the soul. However, I do not need to wear a heart or symbol of the soul or argue that I should be allowed to wear it at work at all times as that is a symbol of my religion - far from it! To argue that the wearing of any symbol is required for one's religion is to miss the point altogether if we are talking about religion as being that which concerns one's relationship with God, rather than the man-made institutionalised versions we have today. Much more is revealed about one's religion through our relationships and way of relating and being with others than it is by any symbol. Thus, if I am wearing a heart necklace, but being angry, rude or judgmental towards others - it is the latter that truly reveals how I live my religion rather than the necklace! Rather than encouraging people to wear a cross every day as a way to portray their religion, how much more effective might it have been, if Cardinal O'Brien had asked people to be gentle and caring each day, both to themselves and each other??  To bring the love and gentleness of Christ into everyday activities and expressions - rather than putting the Cross around one's neck and arguing with one's employer??

The point is this, the wearing of a cross or a heart or a symbol of the soul or any other symbol of one's religion is not what it's about. And thus any argument or court case to insist upon it is equally fallicious. Anyone who knows the Christ, who knows the Love of God, knows that 'by their fruits ye shall know them,' not by their symbols and adornments. In other words, what matters is not the wearing of a cross or 20 crosses, a heart or 20 hearts, or any other symbol, but the purity and quality of the love and gentleness expressed through one's eyes, one's hands, one's words, thoughts and deeds. 

Feel free to discuss or share your views re the cross or other religious symbols or any of the points raised in the blog. 

Recent Posts

28 Mar

The Cake, the Christ and Christians - what's really going on? A call for equality, freedom of conscience or homophobic religious discrimination? ..


N. Ireland is currently in the midst of a legal case that is set to be a landmark case between equality rights and religious beliefs. The case centres on a cake, one that Asher's bakery refused to bake because the purchaser asked for the slogan "support gay marriage" to be on the top of the cake. The bakery initially accepted the order and took the payment, even though the person who took the order knew they would not agree to make the cake because of their religious convictions. The purchaser, Gareth Lee, was later contacted and told by the bakery that they were not going to make the cake due to their personal religious beliefs.

The McArthur family who own and run Asher's bakery state that they do not support gay marriage as it goes against their religious beliefs based on the teachings of the bible. They could "not stand before God" and make the cake with a slogan that supports gay marriage. It is clear from reports that the McArthur family take their faith very strongly and endeavour to live their life by the teachings of the bible, which they clearly hold as the source of truth about God and Christ and are earnest in their conviction that they wish to uphold the will of God. For them taking a stance to not make a cake that was in support of gay marriage is, they believe, aligned with the will of God and they argue on the basis of freedom of conscience that they should not be forced by equality legislation to make a cake with a statement that goes against their religious belief. In addition they have had the support of many Christians across the province who are just as convinced that to support to gay marriage is in some way an affront to God and the Christ. They feel in fact that they are ones being discriminated against on the basis of their religious beliefs. 

So what is really going on here? 
Is the McArthur's stance a true representation of the will of God or Christ? 
Or is it a distorted man made belief that is nothing more than homophobia dressed up in religious beliefs? 
Is there any substance to the claims that supporting gay marriage goes against the will of God? 
Should religious beliefs usurp equality legislation? 
Is it more important to give credence to individual religious belief, even if it leads to discriminating against others than to legislation which recognises the inherent equality of all irrespective of religious belief ? 

This case is a great example of man using God to substantiate his own prejudices and beliefs and what can happen when actions are based on beliefs that do not come from the living source of Love that God is. Whilst the bible contains many wisdom teachings it is not the infallible word of God that many Christians hold it to be but a man-made collection of edited writings that require judicious discernment to know what is truly representative of God and inspired by Him and what is not.

God is love first and foremost, and we connect to that source of love within our own hearts. That source of love knows without a shadow of doubt that all people are not just equal, but equal sons of God whose essence is also love. Jesus said ' the Kingdom of God is within' and it is by connecting with this source of love within that we can come to feel and know what is true truth and what are bastardised teachings devoid of the Love of God. When this love is felt and known there can be no doubt that God loves gay people exactly the same as every other human being, and if two gay people love each other and want to show their commitment to each other in marriage then so be it....and so yes, it could be said that God supports gay marriage. Now there's a slogan for a cake! It does not matter to God whether people who get married are heterosexual or homosexual and therefore those who use God to argue for their beliefs of discrimination against gay people are taking his name in vain and misrepresenting the all encompassing love of God.

To imagine for one second that the omnipotent source of love, loves all except those who are gay or who support gay marriage is absurdly ridiculous to say the least. Any religious belief which supports any form of segregation or separation of humanity by gender, sexuality, religious belief or nationality is not coming from God but playing into the hands of those who want to keep humanity at war with itself. The love of God is a unifying power that recognises the equality of all irrespective of religious belief, gender, sexuality or nationality and thus equality legislation is more in keeping with the love of God than those religious beliefs that are anti-gay and which in fact are nothing more than forms of bigoted religious discrimination devoid of the love of the God.

I have read that the defence is making the point that this is not about the person that ordered the cake but about the cake itself and the slogan on it in order to not be seen as discriminating. But the request for the cake did not manifest out of thin air, it came from a person, a person who is gay and who supports gay marriage. To say it is about the cake and not the person is to pretend that the cake request somehow came into being on its own -  which it clearly did not - it came from a person, a person who supports gay marriage. The bakery has no problem making cakes at Halloween with witches on them even though I suspect witches are not consistent with their religious beliefs - so why single out people who support gay marriage? If the slogan was "hate all Jews" or Catholics or Christians or any other group of people then the bakery could rightly justify refusing to bake a cake that supported hate - but the message here is for one of love and acceptance of our fellow humankind who are gay and who wish to express their commitment to love through marriage. It could be said that refusing to bake the cake is analogous to baking one that says "hate all gays", in the message that it sends out to the world. 

If the McArthurs and Asher's bakery win this case then it is a sad day for humanity and equality. It opens the door to all kinds of discrimination based on nothing more than man-made prejudices that have nothing to do with the love of God. Gay people could be refused services across this land and further afield - barred from hotels, pubs, restaurants, bed and breakfast, shops and churches - the potential list is endless. Will we see signs up 'no gays allowed' in windows of restaurants or bed and breakfasts? Ironically placed by Christians who in the name of Christ are doing the opposite of what the Christ would do - which is to welcome and love all with open arms.  

Conviction in ones beliefs is not enough to say they must be recognised or that they can usurp equality - radical Muslims believe they are acting in the will of Allah to kill the cartoonists in Paris or fly into the twin towers in New York or to behead people in cold blood - does that mean they too are excused on the basis of religious belief? That may sound crazy .....but if Ashers win this case then we are opening the door to all kinds of craziness founded upon religious belief. We can all see and know the actions of radical Muslims are evil and in no way representative of the love of God - but they are at one end of a spectrum and at the other end we have the refusal to make a cake that supports gay marriage dressed up as freedom of conscience and 'Christian beliefs' by people who truly feel they are acting according to God's will. But a Christian who does not recognise the equality of his fellow brother, be that brother gay, and his right to marriage the same as heterosexual people is coming from the same source that tells a radical Muslim to kill - it is just wrapped up in niceness, earnestness and sincerity. Of course radical muslims are a minority and are not representative of the way of the true religion of Islam which is loving and peaceful and is just used here as an example of how religious beliefs can be used to justify heinous crimes - and it applies to anyone who uses any religion to justify persecution or discrimination of any kind of another.  However, in this example, the evil of the radical Muslim is easy to see, but what about evil that comes wrapped in niceness, earnestness and sincere religious belief? Is it even more harming as it can fool many well meaning people into thinking it is ok? Yet it is not ok - it is not ok to deny anyone the right to love, and if they so desire, to marry a consensual adult of their choosing. Refusing to bake the cake with 'support gay marriage' is just the thin edge of the wedge that at the deep end has others killing and maiming in the name of God. 

If we all lived according to the love of God that resides within we would not even need equality legislation for it would be part and parcel of our way of living to know and recognise the equality of all, to extend the love of God to all. As Jesus said,  'by their fruits ye shall know them' - it is by our lived actions, by how we treat our neighbours, our customers, our clients and so forth that we can be known to express the love of God or not. Thus any form of discrimination, separation, segregation, feeling superior or judgement does not come from God - refusing to bake a cake that says 'support gay marriage' is just a form of homophobic religious discrimination and needs to be called out as such.  It has nothing to do with the love of God that recognises the equality of all and is therefore also a serious misrepresentation of the divine - something that religious institutions in particular have excelled at for aeons! 
God, the Heavenly Father of All loves ALL and it is our call to love as he Loves, to know that we are a one humanity,  all divine expressions of the one source of all, all innately equal and to accord each other the respect, love and kindness we would like to receive. The more we live this for ourselves, the more we are able to be it for others. 

So how will this particular cake crumble? Will religious beliefs that are misguided and misrepresentative of God, designed to perpetuate the separation of humanity, take precedence over the equality of all that we all innately know in our inner hearts is right and true?

Is "religious freedom" freedom to hate?

This exact same scenario, cake and all, also happened recently in Utah. Utah has been central to the battle in the USA between Equal Rights and 'religious freedom'. Unfortunately, the legislators of Utah responded by passing a bill that was marketed as protecting LGBTQ community from discrimination, but they conveniently added in clauses that make religious people exempt from exercising this law. Other states have followed suit. It has been heralded as a "win-win" situation, and as a peaceful compromise between the two sides. The whole bill feels like a wolf dressed in sheepskin to me. I agree with you Eunice, that this is conveniently disguised as a 'win-win situation' when it is really the right to hate, and the right to separate. The rights of ALL should be considered equally, without special exceptions for the rights of those with certain beliefs. I would not be surprised to see signs in certain businesses in Utah that ban gays from service. I hope Ireland is able to see through the fog of so-called "religious freedom".

" this is not about the

" this is not about the person that ordered the cake, but about the cake itself" - The other place you hear this defense is 'gun's don't kill people, people do" -- make no sense in both cases.

Its a case of not being able

Its a case of not being able to have your cake or eat it because sorry you are gay and therefore you are not equal or worthy of God's love and should be punished. Oh come on! What century are we living in here? To use religion or its God's will to push a personal belief and agenda shows a deep misunderstanding of what God and love really is. I truly hope common sense prevails here and that justice is served (perhaps with cake and a cup of tea?).
13 Mar

Women in Surgery: Should we kneel down and open our mouths, lie back and close our eyes, or stand up and speak the Truth? ..

Dr Gabrielle McMullin, a senior vascular surgeon in Australia, has recently caused a stir by stating that women in surgery should stay quiet about sexual abuse, harassment or advances from male superiors if they wish to continue in a surgical career.

She was commenting on a case of a female surgical trainee, Caroline Tan, who won her case for sexual harassment but could then not find employment in any public hospital in Australia. Dr McMullin said,

"Her career was ruined by this one guy asking for sex on this night. And, realistically, she would have been much better to have given him a blow job on that night."

She goes on to say, "What I tell my trainees is that, if you are approached for sex, probably the safest thing to do in terms of your career is to comply with the request; the worst thing you can possibly do is to complain to the supervising body because then, as in Caroline's position, you can be sure that you will never be appointed to a major public hospital."

In a follow up article Dr McMullin says she is not ‘condoning abuse’ or these types of behaviours, but states that there is a problem that needs to be addressed.

There have been a number of articles written on this since and some women have come forward anonymously to speak of their experiences of sexual abuse and harassment, in fear that if they speak out they will be ostracised and their careers over.

In the heat of the media glare after making such comments, Dr McMullin may not wish to be seen as ‘condoning abuse’ but in actual fact her comments, if accurately reported, are doing just that. Recommending trainees to just suck it up when it comes to sexual abuse and harassment may appear in some misguided way to be a solution of sorts that keeps the person in a job, but it is definitely not the answer to the problem of sexual abuse/harassment and misogyny in surgery or the wider field of medicine.

Two wrongs do not make a right – and it is wrong that there is abuse in the first place and it is wrong to condone that abuse with advice to permit it by just lying back and closing our eyes or kneeling down and opening our mouths. It is deeply disturbing that this is both occurring within medicine and that the ‘best advice’ a top female surgeon can give is to comply with it.  Indeed such advice only perpetuates the culture that says this is ok and it will not change until more women (and men) speak up and say this is totally unacceptable and take action to expose such behaviour. Silence, saying nothing, doing nothing is only a way of ensuring that these forms of abuse continue. Furthermore, it is a most disempowering approach to take, one that sees women as powerless and helpless victims, who seemingly have no choice but to get on their knees if they wish to continue in a career in surgery.

Dr McMullin’s article has brought a subject that was very much in the dark out into the cold light of day and the responses have been varied. Some have denied that this is a significant problem, stating that only a few complaints to the medical boards concern sexual harassment. But this most likely just confirms the reluctance of female trainees to report such episodes. The latter being confirmed by some coming out and speaking up now following Dr McMullin’s comments, and tellingly so doing it anonymously.

Some point out that it’s not just the overt sexual advances that are the problem but the underlying misogynistic culture that thinks it’s ok to make such remarks as: the only female surgeons that are acceptable are the ones that are ‘childless, single and pretend to be men’.

Dr McMullin’s comments have also now tarred all female surgeons with the sexual brush. All those years of hard work, dedication, study, and on call, for the sake of their greater calling – have now been reduced in some people’s eyes and minds to: 'She slept her way into the job' and this will actually provide more fodder for justifying future abuse of women.

.....

Whilst my own experiences in surgical training have been positive and affirming, I encountered some misogynistic comments as a medical student regarding women in surgery, but that was over 25 years ago when the patriarchal attitudes were perhaps more pervasive. But those comments did not affect me nor put me off a career in surgery – if anything it made me more determined to do it. At the same time, when it came to lighthearted banter I could give as good as I got, and for me personally that wasn’t an issue.  It would be an interesting piece of research to find out the extent of this issue in the UK as well, for even though it wasn’t a significant part of my own experience, I am aware that it does occur and it needs to be addressed.

However, a close friend and colleague Dr Anne Malatt, who is an eye surgeon in Australia, shares with us her experiences:

“When I was training to be a doctor, on my first day at the hospital we went to an ENT (Ear Nose and Throat) clinic. The tall gruff surgeon showed us our first ever patient, an elderly gentleman. He asked him to open his mouth and it was full of maggots, eating his tongue cancer. He then proceeded to demonstrate a mouth examination, using me as the subject. He shoved a wooden tongue depressor into my mouth so hard that I gagged, and laughed and said: 'Well, you won’t be much good giving head!'

There were numerous snide comments, rude jokes and generally demeaning treatment through my training. I would make light of them, but they were offensive and hurtful. Despite them all, I passed surgery with honours.

I was inspired to become an eye surgeon.

I was the only one of 13 candidates to pass the primary exam at the time that I sat it. This exam was required for entry into the surgical training programme at the time. Yet I was frequently, and sometimes to my face, accused of sleeping my way into the job.

My friend and I were the first women to be accepted into the programme for 5 years. We were given second-rate surgical jobs, and ignored when we questioned why, given we were the most ‘worthy’ of the ‘good’ jobs, on paper.

I remember sitting in the tearoom one morning and the senior consultant saying to me: 'It is a waste of time and money training you girls – you are just going to get married and have babies.' "

.....

Pregnancy has been used as a weapon to undermine and discredit female colleagues, by suggesting they would not be in the profession for the long-term.

And from another female surgeon in Australia: "I was told when I was an intern that there are only two types of women surgeons: women who shouldn't be surgeons and surgeons who shouldn't be women," she said.

It is clear that with attitudes such as these, true equality in surgery is but an illusion in such environments. What is perhaps astonishing to consider is that most, perhaps even all, of these men are probably married, could have daughters, sisters and have had mothers – do they treat these women in the same way? Would they like their nearest and dearest women to be treated in the same way as they are treating others? Do they think it’s one rule for the workplace and another for home? But that too is an illusion – showing such disrespect to one woman is in effect showing disrespect to all.  

Only when women are accepted as human beings and women first and foremost, not pretend men, or even as doctors /surgeons, will there be true equality.

.....

The issue here is not just the few or the many men that are involved in such cases, it is the culture of surgery and medicine in general which has allowed such incidences and more to go unchecked for many, many years. The culture of medicine itself is toxic and abusive – little wonder then when it churns out doctors who are also abusive, not just to others, but to themselves. The system of medical training is abusive – long hours of study and work to swallow copious amounts of information, training/teaching by humiliation was just par for the course and there was definitely no sense of care for how the students were coping and living on a daily basis.  

The caring profession has spectacularly failed in its first duty of care – which should be to the students and staff within that profession.

Hence we have higher rates of addiction and suicide in medicine than the general population and rates of burnout of 1 in 2. Astonishing facts that are just another face of the abusive and toxic culture of medicine.

So what is the answer?

  • As a profession we need to state categorically that this type of behaviour is unacceptable and in no way condone such practices.
  • Women need to speak up at the time the incidents occur, to say no and to know they do not need to prostitute themselves to be successful in their career.
  • Empowering female trainees to know how to address sexual abuse when it comes their way, to know they are worth more and that they are not helpless victims.
  • Empowering male doctors to also speak up and call out such incidents when aware of them.
  • A mechanism for reporting incidents of abuse and harassment that trainees can trust and which has effective powers – one that may need to be independent from the mainstream medical culture and ‘old boys club’ approach to such issues.
  • A change of culture is required and that will only come about by the individuals within that culture changing and saying no to the current abusive and toxic system.
  • Developing a culture of medicine that is based on care for the human being first and foremost who is training to be a doctor – such that they develop a care, love and respect for themselves to the point that such abusive ways towards another or to self are eliminated. 

 

Changing the culture of medicine will not happen overnight, but let us not underestimate the power we have to bring about that change by using our voice and saying no. Men and women all need to take responsibility for their part in perpetuating this toxic system and for bringing about change – for each of us it starts with ourselves and what we are prepared to accept or not accept. It starts with each of us standing up and speaking the Truth and not accepting anything less.

The following is an adaptation of the words of the Army Chief David Morrison regarding the army, made relevant to surgery and medicine:

Every one of us is responsible for the culture and reputation of surgery and medicine and the environment in which we work. If we become aware of any individual degrading another, then we need to show moral courage and take a stand against it. No one has EVER explained how the exploitation or degradation of others, enhances the capability, or honours the traditions of the Medical Profession. The standard you walk past, is the standard you accept.   

That goes for all of us; leaders have the onus of responsibility of their position to set an example, but that is no excuse for others to be silent bystanders – we all have a voice and can use it.

So what do you and will you walk past? What do you and will you accept?

Not being part of the Medical

Not being part of the Medical Fraternity I must say I am only expressing from one looking in from the outside. To me anyone who takes away anothers confidence, feelings of self worth and in the end their livelihood in such a crushing way deserves to be made accountable as the Highest level. Surely when there is often reported a shortage of good Doctors and Surgeons in our Country that everyone, female and male should be valued more than ever. Thank you for revealing these sad state of affairs in our Hospitals Dr Minford!

In full agreement with what

In full agreement with what you say here Gayle. Eunice, you have nailed so many things in this article and brought them out into the open for us all to see and feel and no longer ignore or plead ignorance about. It is shocking, it feels horrible and it is time to say NO MORE.

It is shocking to hear that

It is shocking to hear that nothing much has changed. Having worked as a nurse in London hospitals 40 years ago, the nurses - all female back then - were often treated as less than - as hand maidens of some doctors.

Women in Surgery

'So what do you and will you walk past? What do you and will you accept?' Great questions Eunice to sum up this thoroughly explored topic of abuse in surgery but equally relatable in may spheres of work. It simply boils down to the lack of understanding that we are all equal and that what we will impose on others in a work setting would be horrific and totally unacceptable if it were our own son or daughter we were saying or doing those same abusive things to!

Women in Surgery

It always shocks me that we have a Medical profession that can treat its Women counterparts with such utter disrespect! This is something we certainly need to continually bring out into the light to be aired and changed. I wonder what a man in the same position would do? Surely not accept the degradation to have a career, then have to live with that! It also makes me wonder how much disrespect is shown to female Patients!

Women in Surgery

Thank you Eunice for putting pen to paper on this - as it is so much more powerful coming from someone with your life experience within the sector being abused and now humiliated by comments such as Dr McMullen's . I was shocked when I first heard the response of Dr McMullen and am aware she has tried to amend her intention but her initial comments were received, by me and I suspect most of the public, for what they were, condoning of sexual abuse. The world is made a scarier place by comments such as Dr McMullen's.....and a much safer and richer place by comments such as yours.

I wholeheartedly agree

I wholeheartedly agree Eunice. Anything less than speaking up is just perpetuating and supporting the status quo. Whilst it is a positive step that this is being discussed, it seems like the cases we are hearing of are just the tip of a much larger illness. Your words make me wonder whether this culture of inequality exists across all professions not just medicine.

It is not ever ok to abuse

It is not ever ok to abuse another, ourselves, or our position, this is not something we need to be learn, it is a known. In allowing it by not speaking up we hold hands with it, and say ok to it. It doesn't require a medical degree to know this is wrong, and not ever acceptable!
04 Jan

Bad luck causes cancer……and the world is flat! ..

After a few hours I had just completed an in depth blog post on this topic, replete with references and analysis when the whole thing disappeared from view to be replaced by a clean page!! Alas, I had not saved it along the way...lesson learned! And so I will submit here just a brief entry and perhaps return another day to flesh it out a bit more in another post!

There have been many reports in the news this week that bad luck causes cancer, based on a study that correlated the number of stem cell divisions in different tissues and the cancer rate in those tissues. Those with more stem cell divisions had more cancers ( not that surprising as cancer is cell division beyond the body's control) based on the premise that there were more opportunities for mutations in those with higher number of cell divisions. However, not all mutations are retained or lead to cancer - something that this study does not explain - except to say that for those who get it the cause is 'bad luck'. These are critical questions that go unanswered. An article in the guardian explains some of the flaws in the press reports but does not fully debunk the bad luck theory.

I was also told at medical school that many cancers are just down to bad luck without considering the implications of this. Dr Vogelstein who was behind the study, believes that one major message to come out of the work is that cancer cannot be prevented. And it is reputed that "it helps cancer patients to know" that the disease is not their fault. But it does not say how it helps to keep them as victims of circumstances beyond their control or in other words as victims of bad luck?

Understanding illness and disease is never about blaming the individual or saying its 'your fault' you have cancer or this condition or that condition. It is about bringing understanding in a way that is empowering for the individual, that is healing and which offers them a bigger picture with which to understand their life and their condition and which enables them to develop a truly loving, respectful and honouring relationship with their body and their condition. 

The understandings offered by this study do none of that - they leave people as victims, with no recourse to address or heal the underlying cause - how does that help them? To me it feels very disempowering. 

What if, instead, people understood that how they live their lives, their biography if you like, does affect their biology and has an impact on their body that can be healthy and healing or detrimental and harming? Would that not be worth knowing? 

If I had cancer, to be told it is bad luck, to me leaves me with nowhere to go other than standard medical treatment, nothing I can do myself to change it or heal the underlying cause, no steps I can take to help prevent it coming back, no way to understand it that gives me some empowerment and control - it leaves me as a victim. 

Whereas if I understand and know that how I have lived my life has in some way contributed to this condition then I have somewhere to go, I can look at how I have been living and consider making changes that are more healthy, I can take responsbility for the choices I have made and continue to make....in the knowing that they have an effect on the health of my body. 

Furthermore, with deeper understanding of illness and disease, I can see this as not something bad, but something that is healing. It gives me a bigger picture to understand myself and my life and who I am. If I know that my body is a vehicle for the love that I am, and that love is unaffected by any illness or disease or even death itself, then even terminal cancer can be seen in a different light. 

To say that cancer or any illness and disease is just bad luck, is to disempower people and rob them of the rich opportunities to heal the underlying cause. It encourages an attitude of irresponsibility - for why bother making healthy choices if it's all down to bad luck?? 

Whilst it can be a big ouch to realise how we have been living in ways that are not truly honouring of ourselves and our bodies, it is but a temporary ouch, once the true glory of our being is realised and even more when it is lived. This is an ever unfolding journey on the cycle that is life with no perfection ever being sought or required. To understand illness and disease as part of the healing journey of life, healing our separation from who we are in truth, is to transform them such that one is never a victim of them but is instead blessed by the healing they bring. 

Science is showing how our lifestyles, our daily choices are resulting in illness and disease much more than was ever acknowledged before. The sciences of epigenetics and psychoneuroimmunology are demonstrating how our thoughts and emotions affect our immune system and genetic expression and can result in illness and disease. As more and more is discovered, the more we realise that we have a much bigger role to play in the conditions we develop than we previously realised and the shift is towards ever increasing personal responsibility for the state of our health. 

I'm sure one day people will look back at those who support the bad luck theory of cancer in a similar way to how we view those who believed the world was flat - with incredulity that this could ever be believed! 

Well said Eunice. I would

Well said Eunice. I would much prefer to be empowered by the knowledge that the 'disease' was my body's way of healing itself and reminding me to look at the way that I live. In the past I have blamed bad luck or genetics on my woes, but in hindsight I gradually have been able to identify how I was living/feeling contributed to the state of my health at the time

What a great article, spot

What a great article, spot on. It seems that we prefer to just be victims and let life take over, instead of claiming our enormous power and our responsibility with every choice we make. There is no such thing as luck or no luck. We have a choice.

Bad luck? I don't think so.

Once again yours is the voice of reason amongst the bogus headlines, this time claiming cancer is just bad luck. As you have so clearly laid out for us, this leaves the person with cancer, a sad helpless victim with no control over their own life. That makes no sense.

Cancer rates

Hi Eunice Your blog is spot on - the claims that it is 'bad luck' aren't quantifiable if the rates of people being diagnosed with cancer are increasing, as per the recent article and statistics from Macmillan Cancer Support (ref - http://www.bbc.com/news/health-30682088) There simply must be something in the way we are living that is causing the rise in diagnoses - or lots more people are a lot more unlucky than those 30 years ago!! Sarah

How much responsibility can we handle?

To me it just makes sense that we have a part to play in our own illness & disease. Most of us can admit that if we catch a cold it is usually because we have been run down or not taking such great care of ourselves leading up to it, if we have a hangover we know it's because of what we drank the night before, if we are tired and grumpy it's because we didn't get such a great night sleep. Perhaps taking responsibility for something more serious like cancer, that takes a lot more to deal with is too much responsibility to take on?

If this is your abridged

If this is your abridged version Eunice, I eagerly await your full article! Thank you; this is a wonderful peep into the real roles we play in ours and everyone else's lives.

Astonished -

Thank you for so clearly likening this proposal about cancer as akin to the proposal that the Earth was flat. On several occasions I have been astonished when seriously ill patients showed remarkable healing and instead of pursuing the point to find out why and how that has happened, the whole thing was dismissed with the favourite label 'spontaneous remission' and so the case was closed. And now we have a study that claims that cancer is due to bad luck and not only is it not laughed out of the door, it is taken seriously. How can scientists remain blinkered to the studies in epigenetics and psychoneuroimmunology that clearly show there is more to the limited view we have been running with and come up with a misleading study that takes us even backwards.

Thank you for such an

Thank you for such an insightful overview of what's really going on behind illness and disease and our individual relationship with and responsibility for it. 'To understand illness and disease as part of the healing journey of life' provides a much needed broader truth beyond just cancer causation.
04 Jan

Selling off the NHS..

Last night I watched this documentary by Peter Bach about the Sell-off of the NHS. It exposes the extensive corruption in political and government circles that is leading to the dismantling of the NHS step by step. The NHS provides cheaper, more cost-effective healthcare than the US with better results but the government persist with going down the route of the US model. You might ask why? Well it has nothing to do with patient care that's for sure. But when you realise that over 200 politicians have links to private health care companies that might provide a clue.....yes money and greed are the underlying motivators in this story. Those who speak up about it experience attempts to silence and intimidate them. Of course professional apathy and burnt out doctors play into the hands of their agenda - and before we know it, too many irreversible steps will have been taken. A recent Bill apparently did away with the longstanding legal obligation of the government to support the NHS - what more clear indication do we need of their agenda?

This film was made to help raise awareness of what is happening. If you care about preserving the NHS, founded on the premise that care would be equal for all and based on need and not ability to pay, then please watch and share....and help to raise awareness of the extent of corruption that is on the verge of destroying the NHS. It needs the people who vote to speak up and not accept these underhand tactics motivated by pure greed. For once the UK follows the US model it opens the doors for other countries to follow suit and more gold in the pockets of the private investors.  

03 Nov

Emotions and Feelings - is there a difference? ..

Many people think that emotions and feelings are just different words for the same thing – that we can use those words interchangeably.

But what if emotions and feelings are not the same?

What if there is a significant difference between them that has implications for our health and wellbeing?

Would it not be helpful to know what the difference was?

You bet it would!

In order to explain the difference, let me explain a little more about the human body and our make up.

Human beings are not just solid matter – we are in fact energetic beings with energy flowing through us all the time in every direction.

It’s like we are made up of lots of holes through which light can enter and leave the body.

We feel this flow of energy in and through the body all of the time – even if we do not recognise it and this flow of energy is felt and is what we know as feelings.

Feelings are the bodily sensations or feelings that register what is going on around us and within us at any moment and which we can tune into or feel as we so choose or not.

So feelings are constantly changing depending on what is going on around us and within us. However, ideally, we have no attachment to them – we just feel them, recognise them and honour them. Feelings are what tells us what is really going on for us and around us, and are much more truthful than the thoughts in our heads!

Indeed we often override what we are feeling in our bodies with our minds in order to please another or gain some form of recognition e.g. we are tired and exhausted and feel that we need to sleep but we continue to work late in order to please the boss or to get his/her approval. 

In addition, we have a natural energy source within us, which is loving, caring and gentle. In order to have harmony in the body, we need to make choices with this same quality of energy as much as possible. If we do not choose this quality then we will have energy flowing through us that is not of our true state and this will be harmful for the body over time. 

So What Happens when we are Emotional?

When we are emotional e.g. angry or frustrated we are running an energy through the body that is not harmonious for it and indeed we can even feel this at the time. These emotions affect our pulse and blood pressure and cause other internal changes as well that affect our cells and organs.

What are Emotions?

Emotions are the result of feelings that have either been reacted too or that have not been felt, recognized, or honoured and may be stuck and carried in the body. Usually they are the result of an unmet need, a hurt, or an expectation that has not been fulfilled. Often there is a story about them and we usually have some attachment to the story and the emotions. Emotions are detrimental to our health both in the moment they occur and over time.  Esoterically and energetically emotions are at the root of many of our illnesses and diseases – so it’s definitely worth knowing about them. Medical science has not fully elucidated this as yet but more and more evidence is accumulating that is confirming the detrimental impact of emotions on health.  

The Differences Between Feelings and Emotions

Feelings:

• occur constantly, all of the time

• can stay centred (do not alter the energetic state of the body)

• non-emotional and feel what is there to be felt

• true guides re what is occurring in life and in our bodies

• can recognise what is going on within and without

• clairsentience is the ability to feel clearly

• based on the energetic truth of what is occurring. 

Emotions:

• reactions to something or someone

• involve a story

• unmet expectation or need

• have a disturbing energetic quality

• we are no longer centred or still (alters the energetic state of the body)

• are poisonous to our health and wellbeing

• based on false beliefs about who we are 

So emotions and feelings are not the same – they feel different and they have different consequences in the body.

Of course it is easy to get caught up in our emotions and think we are them. Sometimes people think a life without the emotional highs and lows would be boring but that is a fallacy. Instead, we can have a consistently steady and joyful way of being, no matter what is going on around us - how great would that be! 

So it is good to let go of emotions knowing they are not healthy and are not who we truly are. We are not our anger, our sadness, our frustration, jealousy or any other emotion – connect to the natural loving energy within and you will know this to be true for yourself. This also helps us to not take other people’s emotional reactions too personally as we know it is not coming from their true essence. By staying centred in such instances, it can assist the other person to return to their essence also.

Feel what you feel, recognise it and honour it – your body will thank you for it!

I love how you succinctly

I love how you succinctly suggest to feel what we feel and how this is an honouring that our bodies will thank us for. I can feel the indulgence now and the burden of carrying my reactions and generating even more emotions in my body.

Great Difference

This is really helpful. Thank you a lot, Eunice. In some languages (i.e. German) we can´t differ between both terms, because only one is used. Your list of differences is very useful to me and I will use it in updating my personal understanding but also in my trainings. I have noticed, that I support many people just by offering the possibility of asking: What are you feeling at this moment? And so everybody can look at the emotion, which has conquered the body and is so hurtful. It just needs honesty ... but that´s another blog.

Great explanation

Great description of the difference between feelings and emotions. It is clear from the explanation in the article that feelings are well worth paying attention to and becoming more aware of, while emotions are clearly toxic to us. Yet most people think they are one and the same. It is great to have the difference clearly explained.

It is so great to have a

It is so great to have a definition between emotions and feelings and how they relate to health. I know the utter hardness and devastation that emotions cause in my body - I'm left felling drained, heavy and with a headache, so in learning to connect to my feelings instead makes for a much healthier body and life style.

Thank you Eunice, I used to

Thank you Eunice, I used to think that feelings and emotions where the same, and held onto a lot of anger, frustration, jealousy and sadness in my body. Over the last few years I have come to understand the difference and as I have started to connect to my feeling more the emotions have started to fade. Now when they do pop up, I am so aware of them that I choose not to get caught in the reaction.

Yes...

Thanks so much for succinctly putting into words what I have been discovering over the past few years. I have always thought I was my emotions and they have been driving me and my body for years. I have only just started discovering the difference between feelings and emotions and it has been life changing. I still get caught in my emotions and identify with them but the story is becoming less and less and I am now living much steadier than I have in years. I'll 'feel' to that !
01 Oct

Does Love Heal? ..

 

 

It has been written since ancient times ‘that only love heals’. But what does that mean and how does love heal? Some might feel they are just words or platitudes with no real substance or meaning. Certainly when it comes to medical school training there is no mention of love – so is it just some out-dated notion of yester-year or does it still carry relevance in today’s modern scientific medicine?

In modern medicine the word healing usually refers to the physiological processes of wound healing after an operation or an injury or trauma. It is the process to describe skin healing or broken bones healing together. But this is a very limited understanding of the term healing.

The word itself originates from the Olde English word ‘Hal’ which is also the root word for whole and holy. Perhaps true healing then is about returning to wholeness and holiness? In other words returning to our true divine nature or essence – which is whole and complete and holy in that it is divine. The word holy has been frequently misinterpreted to mean something pious but here just refers to the fact that we are by essence divine.

So what is that divine essence?

Every human being has a divine essence that is pure love, whether they believe it or not. It is an energetic fact that can be known and felt by everyone if they so choose.

The problem is that we have lived in ignorance of it and as if it is not there – hence we make daily choices that are not based on our true quality of love.

Instead we have taken on beliefs about ourselves that are not true, that we are not good enough, not lovable, unworthy and so forth. These false beliefs lead us to feel bad about ourselves and to carry out behaviours that are not healthy. We can feel an emptiness and ache inside that we endeavour to fill with work, achievements, success, relationships, hobbies, sport, missions, sex and on and on the list could go.

But nothing can fill that emptiness other than our own love – knowing that we are love, that we are already whole and complete without DOING anything. That is healing – love heals by letting us know that we are already love without having to prove or demonstrate our achievements to the world in the hope of being loved back.

Our very being is LOVE. By accepting that we are love we are empowered to make more loving choices and to look after our bodies – treating them with love, care and kindness and not taking in any toxins ( eg alcohol, illicit drugs, nicotine, caffeine, excess sugar, gluten, dairy etc)  that are detrimental to the body. We realize we are worth caring for – first and foremost by ourselves. In this way our lifestyle choices are modified and become more healthy which in turn has a beneficial effect on our physical bodies, health and wellbeing.

I certainly had no idea that we each had an essence of love and it was a revelation to me when I first heard it. It certainly wasn't any part of my medical training and I would have been dismissive of the use of such language in what is a 'science' subject. Also when I first heard it, I wasn't that sure what it really meant or the implications of it, as I had lived in a way that wasn't very loving to myself and my body.  Being irritated, frustrated or angry about something were quite common experiences for me working in surgery in the NHS that I just accepted was the way I was and there was nothing I could do about it!

Thankfully I have come to realise that is not the case and that there is plenty I can do and have done about it such that these emotions are much less frequent today as I have dealt with and continue to address the underlying reasons for their appearance. Finding out that my essence was and is love, irrespective of my experiences, was a game changer for me. It helped me to understand myself and life in a new way that then influenced my choices. It gave me a different perspective and understanding of illness, disease and healing - one that was empowering and transformative.  

So yes – love heals – and this has been my experience. For it is only by living from our true essence of love that we will make choices that are truly harmonious for the body. Our essence of love is constant and is unaffected by any trauma, illness or disease – and so even if we have a condition or an ailment present, we know we are more than the condition or the ailment. Instead we can see it as the body’s way of clearing that which is not love, that we have taken on and a message perhaps that we need to develop a more loving way with ourselves. These understandings are not yet part of the standard approach to healthcare and medicine - but that does not mean they are not true nor valid. I have come to know the truth of them myself by living them and applying them in my life as well as appreciating and understanding their philosophical foundations. In addition, they are supported by certain scientific understandings that are showing that how we live our lives has a great impact on our health and such choices fundamentally emerge from our beliefs about who we are as human beings and how we feel about ourselves. I am certain as time progresses that science will continue to uncover findings that support what we can already know and feel with the body by living in a way that is truly loving. 

We have not as yet got to writing prescriptions for love – give to self 3 times daily - or indeed give to self all day, every day! Yet love is the elixir of life – love is the true physician that knows all and heals all.

A great article Eunice. What

A great article Eunice. What you have presented is something that definitely requires further consideration within the realms of health care. I love the idea of a prescription for love.

Does Love Heal?

Love this Eunice. It should be prescribed reading on the first day of medical school . . . indeed on the first day of kindergarden! If everyone heard this, embraced this and started to Iive this how different would this world be. Thank you for the simple but powerful message.
24 Aug

Being Gentle with your Body..

Many people associate looking after their body with pushing themselves hard in the gym - lifting heavy weights, doing lots of repetitions, running fast or using a cross trainer at full pelt. This is reinforced by the feel good factor that comes with a session in the gym and the adrenaline /endorphin rush. Of course it's not just in the gym but there are many forms of exercise where we push the body as hard as possible.

Not only that but in day to day life we can do every day movements and actions in a way that is hard, rough or aggressive without even realising we are doing it. We bang doors closed, turn on taps or even leave cups and plates down in a way that is hard or rough without even noticing. We perform so many activities on autopilot, often completely unaware of the actual quality we are performing them with.

We might think this doesn't matter - that our bodies are designed to work hard and to do whatever we require in whatever manner we choose and that the body will cope.

But what if it's not that simple? What if it does matter?

What if every movement and action we make with the body affects the body in ways that can be good for it or bad for it?   What if the quality with which we move and perform tasks has a bearing on the health of the body?

Consider the possibility that when we are being hard, aggressive, rough, pushing, driving etc that our physical body is being detrimentally affected by bringing that hardness into the body, affecting its overall suppleness and flexibility. This happens over time of course – so we don’t even notice it is happening and we end up assuming those stiff, tight, hard muscles or joints are just part of getting older, wear and tear and might even dismiss it as just being ‘the way it is’ as we age.

So what if there was a way to live that could enhance the body’s wellbeing and maintain its flexibility and suppleness?

By bringing attention to the quality with which we move and perform activities we can begin to notice when we are being hard, rough or aggressive and observe how that feels in the body as we are doing it.

We can choose to bring in the quality of gentleness to our movements and activities. We all know what gentleness feels like, we all have some idea of what it is to be gentle, so it is easy for us to apply this in our every day lives. We may begin to notice ‘that wasn’t very gentle’ or ‘that could have been more gentle’ as we go about our daily activities. Even feeling how you place your feet on the ground as you walk – do you stomp hard or gracefully glide? Notice if your forearm muscles are tight, tense and hard as you brush your teeth as hard as possible or are they relaxed with gentle movements back and forth? Observe how you close cupboard or car doors – do they bang closed or are they gently apposed? What is the quality with which you chop vegetables, stir soup, wash the dishes? Is there a lot of clashing and clanging when you work in the kitchen or is the sound of silence barely disturbed?

The interesting thing is that we as do this and focus on making our movements gentle, the level of what we call gentleness deepens – in other words, what is gentle for me now, in 6 months time will have deepened to a new level of gentleness, perhaps even making my starting point seem not so gentle!  And it just keeps unfolding – there is no end to the depth of gentleness we can bring to ourselves and our bodies. This also deepens our level of appreciation for our bodies and what they do for us. We no longer want to push them hard in the gym or strain them with heavy weights but instead choose more gentle exercise and lighter weights – maintaining fitness but not compromising health.

Furthermore, as we live and apply this, we realise that our bodies just love being gentle and being treated with gentleness – they just seem to soak it up and melt away all that hardness and tension we have been carrying and living with. Gentleness is caring, and by being gentle we are caring for our bodies instead of pushing them beyond what is natural for them. Just like most things in life be it a car or TV or other equipment that we treat roughly, with disregard and lack of care, they tend to get broken or worn our more quickly than if we genuinely care for them, look after them and are gentle with them – so too it is for our bodies. But we can’t just go to the shop and get a new one like we can with equipment – so how much more important it is to invest in looking after your body, caring for your body, being gentle with your body – it will thank you for it.

Being Gentle

What a loving reminder to be gentle at all times Eunice, so beautifully written. Today my buzz word will be "gentleness" at all times - allowing has been superseded for the time being! Thank you

Being Gentle with your Body

A beautiful reminder to be in conscious presence and therefore gentleness when going about our day. I often find I have not been in gentleness when I bump into the edges of tables, benches or doors and end up with a bruised hip or arm a painful reminder of not being with myself.As you say Eunice everything we do is impacting on our bodies and either harming or healing and that our bodies are with us for life and not disposable items to be replaced when worn out. From now on I will endeavour to be much more loving and gentle and appreciate my body and its need to be treated with the tenderness it deserves.

I love this Eunice. It's a

I love this Eunice. It's a great reminder that when we get caught up in the doing of things, which frankly life seems to be all about sometimes, it's easy to forget about looking after the body that is doing all the doing. Push push push is all the mind does. I'm excited to see how much my gentleness can deepen. If there is not end… what happens! Wow!!

well put Gayle, surely it

well put Gayle, surely it does stand to reason.

Eunice I like where you say

Eunice I like where you say that we can't go out and get a new body like we can with a TV. So true. This blog reminds me how precious my body is and how everything I do with it affects if it's going to work well or not.

Being gentle with your body

I really enjoyed reading this blog. Eunice what you share about moving your body in gentleness is continually unfolding for me. I try and stay aware of it all day and I am constantly setting new foundations for what gentleness is as I go deeper with it. For me gentle exercise is a joy as is going about my daily tasks in gentleness. There is a whole new level of connection, joy, space and harmony in each day as a result, escalating my self appreciation and vitality. This in turn is ever offering me an opportunity to evolve a more deeply tender, loving relationship with myself and then so outwards to all my relationships.

gentleness

Thank you Eunice for another thought provoking and action inspiring blog! I'm even trying to type in a gentle way after reading your article. As you have pointed out, when we focus on making our movements gentle, the level of what we call gentleness deepens. This is really fun to become aware of. After reading your article I was also pondering on the wider effects of being gentle. Because we can feel the effects in our body, doesn't it stand to reason that these same effects will be felt in the world at large? So our gentle movements aren't just for ourselves but for the whole of humanity.

I always enjoy what you write

I always enjoy what you write Eunice and the stop it brings me to to ponder on your words. Such common sense and practical and simple ways to support ourselves,and our bodies. The investment in caring for ourselves in such a deepening manner surely prepares us for a much more vital old age as well and could take a huge amount of pressure off the health system.

A great reminder Eunice of

A great reminder Eunice of the power we have in our own hands to take care of our selves at an ever deeper level. Starting with the simplicity of being gentle in our daily living as we go about things we do within our day. Great to notice how the simple introduction of being gentle affects our well-being.

Being Gentle With Your Body

Eunice, this is lovely, I can feel myself getting more and more gentle as I read your words! What a simple, practical reminder to look after our bodies using everyday examples like how we chop food or close a car door. 'Gentleness is caring, and by being gentle we are caring for our bodies instead of pushing them beyond what is natural for them.' Beautiful.

Being Gentle with Your Body

This is a beautiful blog Eunice. I can relate to all you have said. Up to 8 years ago I was always being told by my (now late) husband that I banged doors and turned taps on in a very hard manner, but I could not see it and would not accept it. Later I came to watch what I was doing and found that indeed I was being quite rough, but had not realised it. I realise now that I had been a very frustrated person at that time. By gradually becoming more aware of this, I slowly began to 'gentle down' my movements until now I do everything in such a beautiful gentle way, and I feel absolutely awesome.

being gentle with the body

Great blog, it's a gentle reminder of the ways i can be gentle with my body and how it is something that just keeps unfolding allowing me the opportunity all the time to deepen further.

Being gentle with your body

I love this blog, it presents another way of living that is so supportive of us and how we can live. Thank you.
04 Jul

The Art of Healing through Living..

The word ‘medicine’, comes from the Latin ‘ars medicina’ and means the ‘art of the healing’.

So what if medicine wasn’t just about pills, potions and surgeries but also included ‘the art of healing' through living?


So how do we heal through living?


The Key Principles to Understand are that:

  • every human being has an essence of love/stillness
  • we live as if this essence does not exist or as if we are in separation to it and thus we have issues like low self-worth, not being good enough, always needing to do more, to achieve more and so forth
  • we make daily choices that are not from this essence of stillness but may be from the mind, ideals, beliefs or our emotions without due regard for the body
  • these choices harm the body over time as they are not of the same quality of energy as our essence is
  • The Body is the Marker of Truth and reveals all our choices (SB) - in other words, aches and pains, illness and disease and suffering of all kinds has more to do with how we live than we care to imagine, accept or acknowledge 
  • by making daily choices from our essence of love and stillness we can re-harmonise and heal 
  • listening to the body (rather than the mind) and honouring what we feel is key to living in a way that is healing and honouring of the body
  • healing is not always physical but involves the whole being and occurs when we return to who we truly are - divine beings expressing in a way that is loving and caring for the whole. Thus no choice would be made that is toxic or harming to the body. It also means that one can heal, heal the root cause, return to one's essence, be harmonious in one's being and still have physical disease present in the body
  • by making loving and caring choices based on the truth of who we are, we bring more love and harmony to the body and that is healing.

 

What sorts of choices heal? 

All choices that come from our true nature or essence of love and stillness have a healing effect. Likewise all choices that arise in separation to our true nature will have a harming effect. All areas of life are important – as we are affected by everything all of the time so there is no escape or time off. The quality with which we perform our daily activities of living and expressing all have an effect on the body. Such activities include:

 

  • Eating
  • Sleeping
  • Moving
  • Exercise
  • Communicating
  • Making love
  • Walking
  • Working
  • Writing
  • Relationships

 

By bringing the qualities of care, gentleness, tenderness, nurturing and kindness to all our activities and expressions we can embody these qualities such that they become our living way. Whilst we each have the same essence of love, how that is expressed in the world is unique to each person.

In addition, the art of healing also embraces all that modern medicine has to offer and considers it all part of our healing journey – where we may need medication, surgery, physiotherapy and so forth in addition to addressing our daily choices of living such that those too are healing.  

Thus we can each develop a way of living that is healing and which is unique and personal for us and our needs and our lives: the art of healing through living.

Thank you for a great blog.

Thank you for a great blog. I am realising how often I am not in gentleness and becoming aware of this and bringing myself back to it is helping to keep me in the moment Also the realisation of just how much we are in control of our health and wellbeing and the responsibility for that rests with each of us and not circumstances or other people is huge!

Simple

If you asked most people what listening to your body means they would not have a clue. Your simple list shows a path that can be obtained be anyone to choose a different way to live in their fullness.

Thanks Eunice

This article is so clear and concise about how we create illness and disease in the body through not addressing our emotions/reactions to life, and how we can re-connect back to a natural loving way of being that we have within us but sometimes ignore.

Wonderfully simple

Thank you Eunice for this wonderfully simple article about the medicine that we can each provide for ourselves. I love the clear tips about how to “develop a way of living that is healing and which is unique and personal for us and our needs and our lives” and the explanation that it is an art.
28 May

Stoning of a Pregnant Woman..

This article in the Guardian reports on the stoning of a pregnant 25 year old woman in Pakistan because she married a man she loved. She was stoned to death by her father, brothers and other relatives. The stoning murder took place outside a court! Her father described it as an 'honour killing' because she married without their consent. He also said he had no regrets. 

How twisted and distorted is it to consider such murder as an 'honour killing'? There is no honour in such acts of atrocity. It is appalling, horrific and for us in the Western world, almost beyond comprehension how such an act could occur, and occur in broad daylight outside a supposed centre of justice - a court.

The article states that often such crimes involving violence against women are not fully or properly investigated by police or the men get lenient sentences or even acquitted. All of which smells of an underlying current of misogyny in the police force and judicial services such that the perpetrators are not held to account as those in authority in some way feel it must be ok or justified to be violent to women and kill them resulting in half-hearted investigations and sentencing. A vicious circle where those supposedly upholding the law and justice are perhaps as complicit in the crime by not taking a strong stand against the perpetrators. 

Acts of evil are given free reign when we do nothing, when we say nothing, when we stand back and say 'it's not my problem.'  It's all our problem. We are all responsible for the society we co-create together, for the world we co-create together. If we only see this as a problem in Pakistan then we are lost, for we are not recognising that we are one humanity and what is done to one is done to all.

We are all interconnected - we are not separate islands or peoples. Dividing people according to skin colour or religious beliefs is a complete fallacy that only serves to perpetuate such evil acts in the false belief that 'they' are different to 'us'. We are all equal, we are all the same in essence, yet with our own unique expressions. 

The men who committed this crime in Pakistan have been brought up in some way to believe it is ok and acceptable to be violent against women and even to kill women should they not obey their controlling ways. We maybe think "well what can I do? - that is in Pakistan - there is nothing I can do". Well think again. It does not require us rushing off to Pakistan for there is plenty we can do in our own backyard. For example, speaking up and calling to account when we hear misogynistic or slanderous remarks being made against women. This can happen in subtle and not so subtle ways - yet how often do we just let it pass as we don't wish to create a fuss, to stand out, to be seen as prudish or righteous? 

Being aware in our own relationship dynamics of any power plays, controlling and dominating behaviours, bullying, being belittled or attempts to humiliate or make lesser in any way. Taking a stand and saying this is not acceptable - I do not deserve to be spoken to in this way, I do not deserve to be treated in this way, and stating it clearly - do not speak to me in that way. Dealing with misogyny requires not just addressing the men who have those tendancies and the beliefs that have led them to beleive it is ok but also requires women to not cower in the face of it, to stand up and say no, no more. 

We may not get stoned in the western world for being a woman, but the levels of domestic violence in this country tell us there is plenty of work to do at home. And that is only the violent tip of the misogyny iceberg for the ways that many men still attempt to control, demean, bully, dominate, humiliate and impose upon women are manifold - and it will continue so long as we lie back and allow it. 

I too have been guilty of that - I have often given my power away to men and allowed them to control or dominate. Thankfully I am now more aware of it and so I can begin to say no....when I feel it is happening, to have the self-worth to speak up and call it out.

Of course, I am no man-hater, indeed I love men and I am not here tarring them all with the same brush! I know there are many men who truly love and respect women as they are and do not need to control or dominate them.

However, this post started with the stoning murder of a woman in Pakistan - an act that can only be brought by those whose hearts are closed to the true beauty and grace of women. Whose minds have been fed lies and mistruths to justify their abhorrent position undoubtedly contributed to by certain religious beliefs that favour a domineering patriarchal society. Such beliefs that men are somehow superior to women are still well and truly present in the western world, often also fuelled by religious belief. So let us not just point the finger at others and clear up our own doorstep - until all the men in our society truly recognise the equality of women and cease their misogynistic ways.

Any belief that does not recognise the true equality of women and men is man-made not God made - for God is love who loves all equally irrespective of gender, sexuality, race or religion.  

Feel free to share your views and thoughts in the comments section. 

 

 

Public Murder by Stoning of a Pregnant Woman by family members

Thank you Eunice for posting this shocking article and much needed call to action for us all, on every level to call out mysogony. As I looked into this story further it has also come to light that the womans husband had murdered his first wife, strangling her to death, to get her out of the way so he could marry Farzana. He received no sentance because the family 'forgave him' - which put him beyond the law. The womans family had also previously murdered another of their daughers after a 'fall out' with her husband. Farzanas extreme case was not isolated. Nor is Pakistan alone in these horrific crimes against humanity. Papua New Guinea has an appaulingly high level of extreme violence towards women, husbands who cut off limbs with bush knives, women accused of witch craft burned to death or beheaded after being gang raped, and so the list goes on. Reports estimate that at least 70% of women in PNG will be raped or sererely assulted at least once in their lives. The police, on the whole, do nothing, and are also often involved directly in the violence. As you say Eunice, in the UK or Australia we may not widely accept women being stoned to death, or burnt alive, or children being gang raped or having limbs cut off....but if this is the extreme end of the violence towards women, we must stop and ask ourselfves several questions....1.does an act of misogyny further 'down' the spectrum make it ok? Or does it all possibly contribute to the extreme end of the spectrum and make its existence possible? and 2. How are we each of us personally contributing in our daily lives to this global phenomena of devaluing women, on any level? I love where you say: 'And that is only the violent tip of the misogyny iceberg for the ways that many men still attempt to control, demean, bully, dominate, humiliate and impose upon women are manifold - and it will continue so long as we lie back and allow it. I too have been guilty of that - I have often given my power away to men and allowed them to control or dominate. Thankfully I am now more aware of it and so I can begin to say no....when I feel it is happening, to have the self-worth to speak up and call it out.' I have stopped after reading this Eunice to name several ways I might take the next step in cherishing and valuing myself as a woman - and in so doing, knowing THIS if globalised will eradicate the whole phenomena of women being less, being objects, being possesions. If we each as women claim our own worth as the fair and radiant beings we all naturally are - without needing to look a certain way, or prove ourselves with deeds, or appease, or comply or 'not rock the boat'then all points along this spectum of horror will one day be no more. Women (and men too) are precious beyond our current understanding.

What we can do about violence

Eunice, I appreciate your simple "what we CAN do" offering. It is the responsibility of every person who is still free enough to speak out to pull up anyone near them who may be slipping into beliefs which can get so far away from our true humanity. I always felt pain in my body as a child when my brother would say the saying "sticks and stones will break my bones but words will never hurt me". It is a pure lie. Words can hurt and can lead to broken lives.

Stoning of a Pregnant Woman

Thank you Eunice for your article - this is just beyond comprehension how these men can justify killing their own family member. And as you said, so much violence against women is happening all around us - I know it's huge here in Australia as well. We do need to stand up and say: "Enough is enough." We are so much more than that sort of behaviour - men and women. Indeed we all need to say "No, this is not acceptable under any circumstances". Violence, bullying and any sort of controlling behaviour against women and girls is totally unacceptable.

Eunice, Thank you for

Eunice, Thank you for speaking out about an issue that came to light in the media this week and helping me to understand that it is the responsibility of each one of us to call out when we see or feel people being treated with disrespect or abuse no matter how big or how small. It is not only men, husbands, fathers and brothers treating women disrespectfully...In any one week stories are exposed of men and women treating each other with complete disregard. Men abusing children in many different ways, either leaving another wounded, broken or even killed. Family members turning on each other, colleagues competing against colleagues, teachers disrespecting students, church leaders looking the other way when members of their flock are being abused. Right down to sports people going onto the field with the intent of beating by force for the glory of a win. It can seem overwhelming and easy to switch off and become absorbed in our own world and our own lives. When this happens it can allow another to disrespect or abuse us in many subtle ways, because we have been led to believe that is the way it is. More and more I can feel that this is not the way it is. We are all deeply loving and capable of honouring ourselves and others in all of our interactions. This week I called out a colleague who verbally turned on me in the work place. It felt very uncomfortable and I chose to ask for help in dealing with the situation. This was not easy for me as I didn't want to cause a stir or create a fuss or open up to something I felt I couldn't handle or deal with. Yet it felt right to speak out. By doing this and really feeling into my pattern of silence, I felt supported by the people I turned to for help. The hard feeling I was having and racing mind subsided leaving me feeling more clarity and more able to serve the people I work with. Thank you for reminding me that co-creation of a world based on equality and love can be simple and starts with me saying no when I observe and feel myself or another being treated less than who we truly are.

collective consciousness

yes - thank you Gayle - you are quite correct. I agree at first glance speaking up in our own families and territories may not seem to be doing much for such atrocities - but it is step by step as we co-create a collective consciousness that says no to all forms of abuse, violence, misogyny and more. It's not going to happen over night but bit by bit we can all do our bit to say no to any form of abuse, misogyny and so forth. One thing is for sure - silence has never worked in ending abuse and it never will - it only gives free reign to it and so by remaining silent we too become complicit in the act of abuse. OUCH. If the world is to change then we have to change to make it so - we each have a responsbility for the world we co-create and we can start by saying no, speaking up, calling to account anytime we hear or witness even so called minor episodes (that are not so minor!) or incidences of disrespect, abuse, misogyny and so forth. 

speaking up is part of the process of change

Dear Eunice, Thank you for speaking up about an unspeakable subject. News stories such as the one you have written about - a young woman being stoned to death by her father and brothers - are so abhorrent that many of us don't even want to hear about them. We close our eyes, we close our ears, we close our hearts. And who does that help? It doesn't help the murdered woman, it doesn't help the murderers see the error of their ways, it doesn't bring about justice and it doesn't help us as individuals, because we just learn to live in a shut down way. Speaking up, at first glance, doesn't seem like much help either. But on closer examination, I now feel it does help. It helps the collective consciousness of humanity if people will stop and acknowledge that what has happened is wrong in every sense - regardless of country, national acceptance, or religious practice. We can't run off to a foreign country and even if we did, what could we accomplish once we arrived? But what we can do is pause, find that still place within ourselves in this harried world, call out what is not right. Call out what is not love. It is a small step that will become bigger each time we do it. Thank you for your article and allowing me to see my role in this news story.
27 Apr

Self-care for Medical Students: Reflection by Hassan Farooq..

In only two weeks, having gained much in the way of insight into self-care I have begun a process of adapting and trialing changes to my way of living. Some have already borne fruit whilst others will take more time and discipline. This reflection will outline the ways in which I have adapted my lifestyle to become more caring to myself and hopefully as a result, to others. 

 

Diet

The first week focused on diet, sleep, exercise work and the energetic state of being. Diet was perhaps the easiest change to make. Having presented on the“milk myth” and listening to presentations on gluten and sugar I attempted to change my diet to exclude or at the very least limit foods that are affecting my state of well being. At the time of writing, I have successfully limited my intake of milk and chocolate to “cheat days” which is just one day a week. Initially it seemed like a chore to replace milk in my diet but fortunately I soon found a suitable alternative which is not much of a compromised on taste. From this modest change, I have in the space of a week noticed that my skin is in better condition which is perhaps co-incidental but pleasing nonetheless. Surprisingly, sugar in the form of chocolate was not tough for me to cut out. I am not a big chocolate eater anyway and usually only consumed chocolate when bored. Simply removing it from the house was enough for me to go a week without even noticing. The last food related change I made over the week was to go caffeine-free. I enjoy my coffee but hardly ever drink it as a pick-me-up, so it made little sense to continue drinking it and allowing it to put me in a higher energetic state. Changing to decaffeinated coffee made a big difference as I don’t experience the warm restlessness and energetic excitement I would otherwise get with each coffee. Not long ago, decaffeinated soy coffee would have sent a shiver up my spine but now it has effortlessly replaced my regular coffee, perhaps for good.

Sleep

Moving on from food and definitely just as important has been my attempts to rest sufficiently by sleeping earlier. I would consider myself a good sleeper however I am quite sensitive to the effects of a lack of sleep. Before starting this module, I was getting by on approximately 6 hours of sleep, not listening to my body when I was tired and just getting on with it. During the last week, I attempted to get into bed by 11PM giving me 7-8 hours of sleep. The results were no surprise to me, waking up energetic was great and barring one day I managed to keep it up. Ideally I would like to get to bed even sooner, perhaps half an hour earlier, which would give me time in the morning to do other things rather than just getting ready to leave the house. I enjoyed the time I gained in the morning for the week as it was time that I had more focus and fewer distractions. Making effective use of this time could pay dividends and make up for time that feels lost in the evening, making the following day less hectic and rushed. In addition to the noticeable benefits in energy I was pleased to find various health benefits associated with regular, fulfilling sleep. From reduced risk of psychological illness to potentially reducing the risk of cancer, sleep seems to be a small price to pay for the protection it offers.

Challenges - staying present

Moving on from aspects that I found success with are some changes that I struggled with and need to work on. Gaining more focus was one of my primary aims after experiencing gentle breath meditation (GBM). GBM allowed me to clear my mind of thoughts that were not important at the time. Thoughts that I could not act on or address. This exercise quietened a lot of the “background noise” from my mind which instantly brought me into the current moment and all the sensations associated with it, bringing me back to “centre”. Often I find myself drifting away from centre as the day progresses and this was a handy way of getting back in less than five minutes. Practicing this during the last two weeks has not been easy because I forget to include it in my day. However, on the occasions that I have carried it out, I have benefited from the clarity and sense of calm it brings me.

Coupled with GBM was ‘conscious presence’, another concept that I found interesting as I could relate to the often “absent” way in which I carried out day-to-day tasks. From my understanding of it, conscious presence involves being in the moment and taking in all the sensations of the activity being undertaken. I, on the other hand deliberately distract myself whilst carrying out activities such as showering, cooking, and ironing. This is because I get bored with mundane tasks and like to keep myself entertained. This was perhaps limiting my ability to engage in the experience fully. I wanted to gauge the benefits of being conscious through these tasks and to not only carry them out better but to enjoy them more also. This is a lot easier said than done, often I found myself turning to music or TV to avoid the boredom. I noticed that I used these activities to catch up with TV and to entertain myself when I wasn’t able to at other times of the day. However, the quality of this time is low and perhaps that is why I always feel unfulfilled by such experiences. I see conscious presence as a means by which I can find fulfillment in many of the things I do, however I must forget to multitask and re-learn how to uni-task again. This will take time as it is a habit developed over years.

Barriers

In enacting changes, I faced many barriers, such as a lack of time and money. These perceived barriers were not as large as I might have thought, not when I’m motivated at least. I have always felt that if I want to do something, that I will always find time to do it. However, if I feel indifference towards or want to avoid an activity then invariably I will not find the time to carry it out. Lifestyle changes can be cumbersome and unfortunately fall into the lateral category. Being aware of this, I bit the bullet early and just rolled with the punches. Cost seemed like it may be an element, particularly relating to food. However, with a little more caution shopping and less spent on junk, I found that I could shop for a week on the same amount as I had budgeted. This in my case was a pseudo-barrier. Time as I said is only an issue for me when I am unmotivated, but I started sleeping earlier, waking earlier and as a result not losing any time at all whilst feeling better for it. Having said that; this is only true for when I am in Belfast, returning home is likely to upset my routine and maybe clash with my family and their habits. Of course conscious awareness and GBM won’t be affected but the way I eat when I am home may. This does not mean it has to. My family is always very supportive and perhaps I could adapt with them and help them to care better for themselves. This would give me great joy, as not only will I be more comfortable making self-caring choices at home but my family can do the same.

Conclusion

As this reflection illustrates, I have managed to adapt to a better way of living in some ways whilst other detrimental habits still linger. This however is not a disappointment to me. It is an area in which I can continue to grow and improve. Having already noticed benefits to some changes I am very motivated to see the effects of this in the medium to long term. On the whole, this SSC has opened my eyes to conventional and non-conventional wisdom relating to health and the person. Although still struggling with the concept of energies, I have been stimualted by the views shared with us during the module. Interestingly, I wonder what trajectory my self-care would have taken had it not been for this three-week personal dissection of my lifestyle?

I am so inspired that self

I am so inspired that self care is being offered as a module during medical training and that you have embraced it and been so honest about your experiences Hassan. I wonder if you have been able to continue with the changes you started to implement? I know from experience that it takes time, commitment and a little effort to get started but once on a role these things become the normal foundation for daily living. From there it is then easier to go deeper and to ask yourself more questions about what comes up, like why do I get bored and need to stimulate myself with TV so as to not feel what is there? I also love that you are eager to share what your 3 week experiment revealed to your family and how small changes can make a big impact!

Reflections on Self-Care

Dear Hassan, I came across you post today and utterly enjoyed reading it. Your honest and very practical approach is inspiring and refreshing. It shows that Self-Care is easy and doable if we approach it one step at a time. Thank you for sharing! And thank you Eunice for your deep care and incredible service to humanity! Sincerely, Judith

Hi Hassan, I thoroughly

Hi Hassan, I thoroughly enjoyed reading this (and all of the reflections thus far) and love what you say about "uni-tasking". I was the queen of multitasking and it has been an interesting process to come back to being with one thing at a time and with a conscious presence enjoying what I do so much more. I have noticed a spaciousness with that and so much more time available to me now which continues to amaze me. We have been reflecting on these reflections in our Self Care Group in my workplace and have been struck by the honesty, the willingness and the wisdom that shines through in all of these writings. To be attended by doctors who are developing deeper a true understanding love and care for themselves first, and because of that, naturally extending that same love and care and understanding to those they care for, feels like a true gift to humanity. So very inspiring. Thank you to all of you and to you Eunice.
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